Even Sadder....

As I said in my post last week, I am just floored by some of the articles I read in the paper. Here's one I read today:

Waco, Texas

A pastor performing a baptism was electrocuted yesterday morning after grabbing a microphone, a church employee said.

The Rev. Kyle Lake, 33, was standing in water up to his shoulder in a baptismal at University Baptist Church when he was electrocuted, said Jamie Dudley, a church business administrator.

Doctors in the congregation performed chest compressions for 40 minutes before Lake was taken to Hillcrest Baptist Medical Center, but he died. Police said they weren't called. The hospital referred calls to the church.

The woman being baptized was not injured.

Can you imagine this happening to you while you're being baptized? I would be absolutely traumatized. Talk about having faith...Geez.

Freedom of Speech...Blah....Blah...Blah

As some of you who check my blog out regularly are probably aware, there has been an individual leaving less-than-appropriate comments. Coming from a military family, I am very supportive of free speech and your right to your opinions, but please do not use my space as a forum to spew racist and other derogatory views. I welcome people from all cultures and all races to view my site and comment. And I look forward to encountering all different types of people. I will NOT tolerate ignorance and hatred. I would hope that the people who regularly visit would support me in this. Thanks.

Celeb Fun

For those of you who love celeb-watching as much as I do...yes, I have no life....check this blog out. I found it by accident and now I'm addicted. This chic puts an awesome spin on things.

http://luckycrackers.blogspot.com/

Happy Punkin' Day Y'all

Just a short note this morning to wish all of my e-buddies a Happy (and safe) Halloween. I guess this will be my last year to trick-or-treat since I'm getting old. LOL

New Pictures of Precious...

I swear, I could sop her up with a biscuit!!!









I can't wait until they get home.

No Answers....

So I just got back from the doctor. She had no answers for me. Temperature: Normal; Blood Pressure: Fine; Inner-Ear: No Problems. I guess I'm just nuts. Now I have to spend the rest of the weekend worrying about whether or not I'm dying. Just kidding. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but I hate not knowing what these weird pains are.

So Sad.....

As I sat reading the paper last night, I came across a small blurb that I just had to share. I don't know why it struck me the way it did, but anyway...here goes:

Park Ridge, N.J.

A crossing guard was struck and killed in front of a high school by another crossing guard on his way to work, police said.

Estelle Reynolds, 81, was killed Tuesday morning after being struck in a crosswalk by a vehicle driven by Marvin Hodgodon, 70. He was on his way to his crossing guard job in nearby Hillsdale.

No criminal charges were filed in the accident.

OK. First of all, why do high school students need crossing guards? And, no offense to the eldery, but 81 and 70 year old people as crossing guards??? That just rubbed me wrong for some reason.

It sure would suck to live to be that age and die in such a senseless accident.

Oh....the Pain!!!

So...I wake up this morning to the feeling of someone driving a stake through my temple. Not a headache really, just an awful pain in my right temple. Weird. I drag myself out of bed and make it to work right on time. Miracle. Then, out of nowhere, the right side of my face starts to tingle. I had these same symptoms one time last year, and all of my friends (who were suddenly experts on the topic) had me diagnosed with Bells Palsy, among other things. It turned out to be a perforation of my ear drum. Let's hope that's all it is this time. I have an appointment at 1:15 p.m. Keep your fingers crossed.

"The Ville" Night Life

"The Ville"....that cracks me up. I'm not sure how many of you guys are familiar with all of this, but basketball is a huge thing in Kentucky. The little drama we UofK fans like to call "Traitor-Gate", happened when Rick Pitino (former coach of my beloved Wildcats) , left UofK and went to coach the Celtics. After realizing he made a HUGE mistake, he came back to Kentucky, but went to coach our rivals (UofL Cardinals) instead...it was devestating. Well, anyway, when he made the big move to Louisville, we were suddenlly called "The Ville". OK, enough sports history. I just wanted to post some pictures that I took from my office window last night while I was toiling away....and got sidetracked by my title. Sorry. These aren't too bad for a camera phone. Just keep in mind...this is no NYC skyline or anything....but it's still beautiful. Peace!

Whatever.....

I didn't get to post hardly anything yesterday because I am so damn busy at work. I didn't get out of here until 8:00 p.m. last night and now here I sit again (8:22 p.m.). So all I really have to say right now is: Since when does a fuck-up on your part constitute an emergency on mine???? Can anyone tell me the answer to that?

UGGGGHHHHH!

Halloween Fun!

Just a little something to relieve some stress:

http://www.pcincome.net/whatswrong/

I Just Want To Be Happy

I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting

And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting
I hope you're not intending to be so condescending
It's as much as i can take and you're so independent
You just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break
But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you
Why can't you just forgive me
I don't want to relive all the mistakes I've made along the way
But I always find a way to keep you right here waiting
I always find the words to say to keep you right here waiting

But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting














STAIND - "Right Here"

A Break In The Silence...

Well, I didn't fall off the face of the earth, if anyone is wondering. My next Chapter is taking me a little bit of time....and since when does my career have the right to interfere with my blogging time. Damn it!

Saga: Part I - Who Am I??

Part I of the Saga: The Birth of Jen

On 11/24/72 a Sagittarian Diva was born to teenage parents. One was a hippie genius and the other an intelligent homebody. I was raised to be happy with what I had, but not to be afraid to want more. My parents instilled in me a sense of family and good moral values. I think that having an equal mix of my parents' traits has been a good thing for me. It makes me who I am. I'm an outgoing person who loves to have fun and make people happy, but at the same time, a person who loves to read and think and make a home for myself. I have always wanted what my parents have: a deep love for each other, a feeling of "home", and the freedom to do their own things. A few years ago, my Dad told me something that I will never forget: "The one thing I admire about you, is that you have always gone your own way. You've never been afraid to just go with your heart." That may turn out to be the bane of my existence.

I was always the girl in school who was friends with everyone. At lunch, I would sit with the stoners one day, the jocks the next, the nerds another day...and I never got any flak for it. I think it's because I'm a little of all three....but I never had a niche. I loved that then. But now I regret it to some degree. I always had a boyfriend, and I would always devote all of my time to that person, never to my friends. And, I carried that into my adult life.

When it comes to men, I've always been attracted to ones who needed my "help", so to speak. As I mentioned in my "100 list", I've always felt that I was put here to improve people's lives. I'm an excellent judge of character and have always been right about my gut feelings. I'm starting to wonder if I'm really meant to be with one person for the rest of my life...or if my living hell is to be with a person until their life is on track, and then move on to the next? Not that I consciously do that....but I'm starting to wonder.

The one thing that the people who know me best can say, is that I am loyal to a fault and always tell the truth.....or at least they used to be able to say that.

God...I'm scared to do this. I may not be able to handle my own truth.

Takin' It Easy...

So...I was laying in bed last night thinking about how I'm going to go about explaining the three most important things I will ever post about....and then it hit me. I'm going to write a short one about myself first. There is no way in hell that I will ever figure out my relationships with other people, and what went wrong in them, until I know who in the hell I am. I know my 100 list should have helped me out with that...and it did...but I also want to write it in a way that all of my blog buddies will understand. Because I really want you to know the whole story. If I don't give that to you, than your comments and suggestions aren't really true....know what I mean?

So, I laid awake until about 2:30 a.m. and had this awesome dialogue going on in my head. When my alarm went off this morning, I couldn't remember a damn thing I wanted to say. I'm going to go on a smoke break and write some stuff down. I'm scared....but I really need to do this. I feel like I've been treading water since February....and my arms are tired.

Sigh...Sigh....Sigh

Well, for some pathetic reason...I've been thinking about my blog all weekend. I'm so addicted. I realized that when I started this thing back in March... I was pretty much out of control and drinking too much and basically running from my problems. After reading another blog that I found by accident...and realizing that his situation was so similar to mine....(Whazzup Twisty???)....I've decided to kinda start all over. After all, that's really the reason why I started this damn thing...was to give myself an outlet of sorts to try to figure out what in the hell I'm supposed to do. So....my next few posts are going to be about the relationships in my life...the most important ones....the ones that are driving me insane....My relationship with my husband....my relationship with Bryan...and my relationship with my parents/sister. Hope this doesn't bore everyone...but it's something I just have to do. Fasten your seatbelts ladies and gents....I'm probably going to piss off some people (the one's involved I mean)....

Eye of God

This is a picture NASA took with the hubble telescope.
It's called "The Eye of God".... and I just had to share.

Thar She Blows...Hurricane Wilma

Sorry....I couldn't resist.

That Figures....

Quick Note....It's funny: When I was coming up with my 100 things, it took a little longer than I thought. But when I checked out my buddies' lists, I thought of about 50 more things I could have written. Oh well...I've done enough soul searching for one week. My brain needs a rest.

YEE F**KIN' HAW

As I have mentioned in previous posts....I love all kinds of music; from heavy metal to jazz. When I started going through this new phase in my life, I began to listen to more and more Country. I think it's from sitting at the bar and hearing alot of Country songs that I really liked. Anyway....Rascal Flatts is one band that I really got into. They were in town last night and a buddy of ours from Tam's got us 3rd row tickets. The stage came out into the crowd (kinda like a catwalk), and I was actually leaning on it watching the show. What Great Seats! Whoo Hoo!!!

Blake Shelton and Keith Anderson both had sets that opened the show and they were both excellent. I forgot how many of their songs I knew, until they started singing them. I have posted the pictures I took. They aren't the best...but then again, I was using my cell phone, which was one bar away from dying. I was totally unprepared.

This is Blake Shelton.

The Fiddle & Guitar Players. Hot!!!!

Keith Anderson - Hotter!!!

Gary Levox - He must be Hot - He just married a Playmate.

Jam Session!

All About Jen

I really liked my girl, City’s, idea (even though she stole it from someone else - heh) so, here goes!

100 Things About Me...

1. My parents got pregnant with me their senior year of high school and they are still together.

2. Dad went on to become a mechanical engineer. Mom is an office manager for an OB/GYN.

3. I only have one sister and she’s 13 years younger than I am.

4. I went to Catholic School all 12 years.

5. I tested early into school and was a high school senior at 16 years old.

6. I only have one grandparent that is still alive - my Gramps.

7. Mom's mother, my Gran, was the family matriarch. She died in 2000 & my family fell apart.

8. My mom was in a deep depression after Gran's death, until my niece was born.

9. My Dad's mom, my Grams, died three weeks before my wedding.

10. I am a total Daddy's Girl.

11. I could eat spaghetti and garlic bread every day of the week.

12. I've always felt (since I was a child) that I would die at an early age. Morbid...I know.

13. I feel like a failure because I haven't given my parents grandchildren.

14. I am happy with my middle class status, not because I'm lazy or unmotivated, but because I truly believe my mission in life is to make other people's lives a little better, even in the smallest of ways.

15. I am addicted to tattoos - I have five - and would love a few more.

16. I can get through anything, as long as I have music.

17. I got a scholarship to college, and threw it away over a man. DUMB ASS!!

18. I have been on my own since I was 17 years old.

19. I'm not a Church-going person, but I do believe in God. I talk to Him everyday and feel as if I have a real relationship with him....and that's good enough for me.

20. I feel like an outsider in my family. Maybe because I left home so young.

21. Fall and Spring are my favorite times of year.

22. I love the wind in my face.

23. I was car #6 in a 26-car pile-up on the expressway on July 7, 1995.

24. I love "alone time".

25. I have always been able to entertain myself...I guess that's from being an only child for so much of my childhood.

26. I have a VERY soft spot for ALL animals.

27. I have never had any interest in visiting places overseas. There is so much of my own country that I have never seen.

28. I have self-esteem issues. (Is it that obvious???) ;o)

29. I feel guilty about everything....even things that aren't even remotely my fault.

30. I love silver jewelry...never been much of a gold fan.

31. I never smoke in front of my mother.

31. I still worry about letting my parents down.

32. I love my niece so much, it hurts.

33. I worry about everything...even when there's nothing to worry about. (Thanks..Mom!)

34. I don't want to come across like a nervous, worried freak. Most of the time, when I worry or stress about something, I always keep it to myself.

35. I won the part of Ebenezer Scrooge in my school play and had 11 solos to sing.

36. I was on my school's National Championship Volleyball and Softball teams.

37. My first car was a 1972 banana yellow Nova that I bought from my Grams for $100.

38. My Dad has played in a band since before I was born. He's a guitarist.

39. I am the band's biggest fan.

40. His band consists of him, one of his co-workers, and three brothers that he went to grade school with.

41. The three brothers used to tour with the Bee Gees. Too Cool!

42. I would much rather hear an old album than a CD. I love being able to hear all of the irregularities that actually exist in a song, not a glossed-over version.

43. If I ever won the lottery, I would, among other things, open a shelter for animals.

44. I love to cook.

45. I look forward to the Sunday Crossword Puzzle.

46. I love to gamble.

47. I'm equal parts brainy-girl and party-girl.

48. I felt for a long time that my mom resented me because I took her childhood away.

49. I'm a lot closer to my mom since my sister and niece moved away...I just wish it hadn't taken them leaving to make it happen.

50. I will never forgive myself for failing in my marriage.

51. I'm not at all happy with where I am right now, as far as my life goes. Sometimes, the whole situation just overwhelms me to the point where I'm sick of it.

52. I never believe gossip or judgments about a person. I ALWAYS form my own opinions based on my experiences with that person.

53. I always speak what's on my mind.

54. I am EXTREMELY soft-hearted.

55. I would do anything for someone I love.

56. I love to sing.

57. I am an avid Bass fisherman.

58. I planned my wedding in three months (due to calendar conflicts) and my Dad's band played my reception.

59. I am a "guys" girl. Almost all of my friends are guys.

60. I think one of my best qualities is making whomever I'm with feel special.

61. I really enjoy talking with elderly people. They have alot of amazing things to say.

62. I have never tried to quit smoking, because I'm just not ready to yet. I don't want to try to quit until I'm ready to.

63. I'm a Bud-Light drinker, Marlboro Light smoker, and I will accept nothing less/nothing more.

64. I truly believe that laughter is the best medicine...and I do it often.

65. I was always raised to appreciate the little things in life...and I'm thankful for that.

66. I was born on Thanksgiving Day.

67. I love giving gifts WAY MORE than receiving them.

68. My brain never stops working...and that can be very tiring.

69. I have worked since I was 15 years old...sometimes working three jobs at once.

70. I don't like asking for help.

71. I'm really proud of my hometown - Louisville, Kentucky - and it's growth over the years.

72. My family is extremely small. One grandparent left, 3 aunts, 3 uncles, 5 cousins.

73. I used to suffer from extremely bad migraines. I was hospitalized three times in a month because of them...but then they miraculously quit coming.

74. One of the happiest days of my life was when my sister was born. Quick Memory: I was on a school field trip the day my parents brought her home from the hospital, and my school bus pulled up right beside them at a stop light and my mom held her up for my class to see. Talk about timing....It still gives me chills.

75. I do believe in miracles.

76. I used to be blonde and recently dyed my hair red. I love it!

77. I went to the Mayan Riveria in June and saw some of the most beautiful waters I've ever seen.

78. I was almost abducted when I was 11 years old, but I got away.

79. I am a paralegal...and have worked in law firms since I was 17 years old.

80. I would rather drink Coke than Pepsi.

81. I am a Beatles fanatic.

82. I can type 137 words per minute (last tested in April of this year).

83. I think I will be an awesome mother some day.

84. My great-grandfather watched me after school when I was little and he was my best friend.

85. I always believe the best in people....even when they disappoint me.

86. I take two showers a day.... without fail.

87. Sometimes I feel like a loner. I would much rather eat lunch by myself reading a magazine, then going out with co-workers.

88. If I am upset or angry....doing dishes always seems to calm me down.

89. The best part of my day is getting home from work and my dog waiting for me at the door.

90. I am very easy to please.

91. My two favorite vacations are: (1) Somewhere on the Beach; (2) Somewhere in the Mountains/Woods.

92. I hate talking on the phone.

93. I really believe in Karma. I used to have good Karma, but after everything that happened with my husband, I feel that I have ruined mine (at least for now). I have faith.

94. I am an organizational freak.

95. I have been in six car accidents (none were my fault) and had my purse stolen three times.

96. There are a few smells that I absolutely love: (1) Gasoline; (2) Freshly Cut Grass; (3) Puppy Breath; (4) A Baby's Head. Look....I never said I wasn't strange.

97. There are a few things that I cannot stand: (1) Racism; (2) Ignorance; (3) Vanity; (4) Selfishness; (5) Cruelty; (6) Hatred.

98. My favorite Holidays are Thanksgiving and Christmas.

99. I can put both of my legs behind my head.

100. My biggest fear is regret.

Sorry these are in such sporadic order. I just had to put them down as I thought of them. It was actually very therapeutic.

Jen-Jen Out!

OH MY GOD....

So....I write a post yesterday freaking out because my brother-in-law is getting shipped away in three months. I'm sitting at home last night when I get a text message from my sister. They're Pregnant! I really am happy for her, but I couldn't help that pang of....I don't know....could it be.... jealousy???? I think I went through this when she got pregnant with my niece. You know....that....I'm the oldest.....I should be giving my parents their first grandchild.....kind of thing? It just makes me realize even more that my life is going backwards instead of forwards....and I'm tired of it. After that slight pang went away, I started to worry. She is going to be pregnant alone, delivering alone, driving back home alone (to stay with my parents) with the baby after my niece is done with school. Then....when my brother-in-law gets back from overseas, she is going to leave again. It took my mom forever to get over loosing Melly. I mean, it was as if Melly was her's. They lived with my parents until she was four years old. I hate to see that happen again. I know my parents will be thrilled with another grandchild....and I am too. I just hate the circumstances and I hate that I can't be there to help my sister through it.

Dazed & Confused

I saw this picture and thought it was beautiful. It's both calm and immensely disturbing at the same time. That's how I've felt all year. My life is a friggin' disaster, but yet, by all outward appearances, I'm the happiest person on the planet. You know how you can walk around with a smile on your face, and then get in your car and just cry?? I don't know how I do it sometimes. I guess I just try not to bring other people down. I really feel good when I post on this page. It's just really hard for me sometimes to write what I really want to write about, because I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts into words. They just come at me so fast, it's impossible to keep them straight. Does that make any sense? Oh well...gotta get back to work.

Sorry about the short rant out of the blue - just felt the urge to say it. Peace Out!

Shit...Damn...Hell...WTF...&%*#$

So....we just found out that my brother-in-law is being shipped to Kabul, Afghanistan on January 29, 2006. My sister will be up in NY for about five months alone with my niece (until she is done with kindergarten) and then they are coming home. He will be gone for 13 months. Dammit! I hate that they are having to go through this. I mean, I love my brother-in-law very much and I feel that he is the perfect fit for my sister, and he loves my niece so much. I think alot of that has to do with why he joined the military. I guess he felt that was the only way to support my sister and my niece. I am just so worried for him....and for her. She's only 21. She had never been away from home until they moved to New York last December. Not that she can't take of herself, it's just going to be so hard for her. I wish I could be there for her and help her get through this. I just hate it. Please keep him and all of our troops in your prayers, regardless of your feelings on the WAR. I don't want to turn this into a political piece, and I really don't want to hear any comments regarding same. All I care about are the people fighting for freedom, not the reasons for same. Understand?

Ever Wonder.....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can’t put mascara on with their mouths closed?
Why you don’t ever see the headline: "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, but dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests your money called a "broker"?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour"?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitos?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments if they’re all stuck together?
Why aren’t there seat belts on buses?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport a "terminal"?

Even God Has a Sense of Humor

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. I know I couldn’t live without it, especially at work. But, have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling Heaven.
For English, press 1
For Spanish, press 2
For All Other Languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:
For Requests, Press 1
To Give Thanks, Press 2
To Complain, Press 3
For All Others, Press 4

I’m sorry. All of our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayers are important to us and we will answer your call in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:
God, Press 1
Jesus, Press 2
The Holy spirit, Press 3

To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5; then enter their Social Security Number followed by the pound sign.

If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666.

For reservations to Heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3-16.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life, and other planets, please wait until you arrive in Heaven for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today. Please hang up and call again tomorrow. The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.

Thank you and have a Heavenly day.

Halloween Flashers

Only In America

Only in America...do drugstores make the sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions, but the healthy people can buy cigarettes right up front.

Only in America...do people order double cheesburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America, do banks leave both doors open, but chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America....do we leave cars worth thousands sitting in the driveway, and fill our garages up with junk.

Only in America....do we have ATM's with Braille lettering.

Post Secret

I'm sure many of you aware of the Post Secret blog. I've been into that one for a while now, and for some morbid, can't-stop-looking-at-a-crash-site, reason, I really like it. I'm sitting on my smoke break today, looking at the Features section in the newspaper, and low and behold, there's an article about the blog, like it was some kind of WORLD BREAKING NEWS. I felt somewhat superior, (which, by the way is not a frequent occurrence for me) that this was old news to me. After laughing with a Queen-of-England like chuckle, I began to get angry that none of our blogs made the paper. Just Kidding. Anyway, just thought I would share that little piece of our blog world with you.

Jen-Jen Out!

Before & After....Hmmmm..

Kloie Belle's Extreme Doggie Makeover! Is this the face only a mother could love, or what? She loves her new hair cut. If people don't think dogs have personalities, they're frickin' nuts! She's a total DIVA now.

I'm An Idiot

So, I finally figured out how to change my "links" section. I'm so excited. The first one that I have posted on there is for my sweet puppy. I had to put her to sleep about a year ago, and it was the worst day of my life. She got sick out of the blue and went down fast. She was only four years old. For the hard-asses out there who don't really have a bond with their pets, they won't understand it, but The Rainbow Bridge really helped me get through it, and it is a very calming place to go and think about my angel. If you know anyone who lost a pet, or if you have, it's worth a try. It's sorta like a blog for your pet. It costs $25.00 a year to keep the site going, and it's worth every penny. I sure do miss my girl.

Blonde Pole Dancer

Thought That Title Might Get Some Attention!

My Aliases

Pirated from "The Jagster" - http://notcatty.blogspot.com/

1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: (name of first pet + street you live on): Rusty Sharon

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandmother's/father's first name + fave snack): Violet Strawberry

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (first word you see on your left + fave restaurant): Celebrate Delta

4. YOUR SOCIALITE NAME: (silliest childhood nickname + 1st place you partied): Wheat-Thin Garage

5. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial + first three letters of your last name): Jell

6. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal + name of high school): Wolf Rosary

7. YOUR BAR-FLY NAME: (last snack food you ate + your fave drink): Chips Bourbon

8. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name + street where you first lived): Lee Christopher

9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fave candy + fave musicians last name): Snickers Mayer

10. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of [opposite sex] last friend that you commented + cell phone company you use): Kip Verizon

11. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name+ last 3 letters of mothers middle name /+/ first 3 letters of your pets name + first 3 letters of the town you live in): Elleanklolou

Melly Monster

As everyone who knows me is very aware, I am in absolute LOVE with my niece. My sister just sent me some drawings of hers. She is also just learning to write her name. She's a GENIUS!!!!

10 More Random Thoughts

Some are taken from a hilarious email I got today:

1. If people from Poland are called "Poles", why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?
2. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
3. If a pig loses it's voice, is it disgruntled?
4. Why do croutons come in a sealed package? Aren't they just stale bread anyway?
5. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
6. What hair color do they put on the license of a bald man?
7. Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten, but buns only come in eight or twelve?
8. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
9. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then realize that you haven't fallen asleep yet.
10. Just remember....if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

True Smart-Ass After My Own Heart

My step-daughter, who is 14 and a freshman in high school this year, lives with me and we have a great relationship. I was joking with her about signing the back of her school picture (you know, like you used to do for your friends). I told her that I wanted an essay on the back about why she loves me so much (LOL), and that it could be no less than 20 words. Being a true smart-ass, she proceeds to write the numbers 1-20. God Love Her! Ah....to be young again.

Lord Of The Flies

When I went to my car to leave work yesterday, this fly was on my windshield. This little guy hung on the entire ride home, almost 20 minutes at 65 mph. I almost felt bad doing the speed limit on the expressway, but hey, it was rush hour traffic. After I posted this picture, it kinda looks like he's smashed, but, I promise, no flies were hurt in the making of this photo. LMAO!

Yeah....I Deserved It.....

So....if you haven't read my first post today, read it before you read this. It'll make more sense.

Anyway.....I'm sitting outside on my lunch hour, reading a magazine, when "Martha" walks up. I see her in enough time to pull my phone out....right when she walks up, it starts ringing. I about died....and then I busted out laughing because I thought of my earlier post as soon as I saw her. Yeah....I deserved it.

Nightmare on My Street

So....in a recent post I mentioned that I spent a fortune on Halloween decorations. I finally put most of them up, and I'm pretty impressed with myself. I took a few pictures, but only some of them came out. Hope they're not too scary for ya.

Man...I Am So Mean.....

I'm sure that in every office there is this one person who just rubs you the wrong way... drives you nuts... annoys you to no end...and makes you want to scream. I'll call mine "Martha". I go on my break, decked out with my two smokes and my crossword puzzle and sit outside in the courtyard for some alone time. And, low and behold, here she comes. I think she waits until I leave for my break and then follows me outside. (I shit you not, she has come by my desk three times since I started this post...) She sits down at my table and proceeds to blab her head off, like it's not obvious that I am into my puzzle, or my magazine or whatever I am doing. It has gotten so bad that now I take my cell phone with me and pretend that I'm in a conversation, just so she will go somewhere else. Isn't that mean? It's the only "polite" thing I know to do, besides hurting her feelings, but Geez....give me a break. I'm just waiting for my phone to start ringing one time.....maybe I should remember to put it on silent mode. LMAO.

TGIF....Even If It's Raining & Cold As Hell....

This is the view outside my office window. Pretty Cool...but it's a nasty day outside. I wish I was at home - on my couch - under the covers - watching boring-ass daytime TV. Instead, I'm sitting here staring at a computer monitor wishing I was anywhere but here. Oh well...at least it pays the bills......Almost. LOL

Thought For The Day

"No one can go back and change
a Bad Beginning.
But anyone can start now and create
a Successful Ending!

Hmmmm.....that might actually mean something to me...

Thought For The Day

TODAY is what it is.
And within that REALITY
lives a universe of POSSIBILITIES
from which YOU have the
POWER to CHOOSE the
absolute best you can imagine.

I Had An Epiphany.....Sort Of....

So...for those of you who are new to my freaky blog...I'll recap real quick. I had a life altering moment back in February of this year, which caused the demise of my 12 year relationship with my husband. I am still in shock, mainly because I have chosen to push it all to the back of my mind and live life day-to-day. BIG MISTAKE. Our relationship was a strange one. I am the type of person who wants to make everyone's life better, usually at the expense of myself. I'm not saying that I'm a martyr, I just always put myself last. I then came to realize after all of these years that I had no friends of my own and nothing that I could really call "mine", because I had spent our entire life together being around "his" friends and doing "his" things. I even welcomed his 14 year old daughter into our home and she started to live with us full time (granted, I've been in her life since she was 2 years old). When one of my close friends went into rehab, I started hanging out at the "blog famous" Tam's, which is where she worked. I would go there to check on her progress, etc. I fell in love with everyone there. These people quickly became "my" friends and this bar was "my" place. I finally had something that was all mine. Not that I didn't still love Hubby, but I really enjoyed going to this place and talking to these people. It got to the point where I would rather be there than at home. Not that I was unhappy or anything, I just wanted to relish this new thing that I found. One person that I came to adore was my friend, BW. He is just like me in the sense that he is a genuinely caring person. I'm not saying that Hubby is some terrible person or anything, it's just that BW sees things alot like I do. I enjoyed spending time with him and really enjoyed our conversations. He was my best friend. Then everything changed and that's what started the mess with Hubby.

Anyway....back to the present....

Now...10 months later....BW is still around for me. I can't give him what he wants right now because of all of the loose ends with my marriage. Including, but not limited to, my feelings for Hubby. When Hubby threw me out of our house and filed for divorce, I just ran away from it all, and dove into BW's life. Isn't that what I just stated above...that I did with Hubby? I'm starting to freak out, and it's about time. I was beginning to think that I had lost all emotion or caring about anything. Am I going to regret just "letting" my marriage go? Am I going to regret jumping headfirst into another relationship where my life centers around the person I'm with? The difference between these two...is that BW wants to center his life around mine and Hubby never did. I have so many things going through my head, I don't know what to do. I'm scared of starting over again after all of the hard work and effort I put into my marriage with Hubby. Yet at the same time, BW does not deserve to be hurt, even though he knew what he was getting into. It is not in my heart to deliberately hurt someone. I would rather stick a needle in my eye. Yet, I am finding it extremely difficult to imagine my life without either of them. And as the days click off the calendar, it gets harder and harder. I miss my old life, but I really enjoy my new life too. I know I can't have them both. If I was to work out my marriage with Hubby, I would have to give up my friends at Tam's (and, of course, BW.) He's made that clear....and I can understand why. But then, I'm right back where I started, with nothing that's just mine. If I don't, I'm essentially giving up on my marriage without even trying. I WANT TO SCREAM!!!!! I'm the person that everyone comes to with their problems. I'm usually the stable one who thinks clearly. So....if I'm the go-to person, who do I go to? I know that when it is all said and done, I have to make the decision, but I just CAN'T and it is scaring the living hell out of me. Please help. Somebody??? Anybody??????

Give Me A Break....

Short rant for the afternoon:

Does anyone else get tired of receiving a comment on your blog....getting excited about it....and then realizing it's from someone trying to sell you something or some automatic reply message? It's frustrating.

What.....Do I Amuse You......??

You know...it's funny. No matter how old I get or how many movies I see, there are always those few that I watch every time they are on. No matter how many times I've seen them, and even if they are interrupted by commercials (which means that all the good parts are taken out). It just cracks me up, when I'm sitting watching TV at 1:00 a.m. and I'm watching the never-ending scroll of the Preview Channel and then...BAM....I see an old movie that I just can't pass up.....or when nothing else is on and you're bored, so you just stick a DVD in, or God Forbid, a VHS tape....Here is a list of some of my all-time faves. Don't laugh at some of them...I was an impressionable youth, who still likes to relive my younger days by watching a movie that reminds me of those times and what I was doing when I watched them. Look...I never said I wasn't weird.

BTW: These are in NO particular order....just the order that they came to mind.

1. Good Fellas

2. Adventures in Babysitting

3. Boondock Saints

4. Fight Club

5. Dazed and Confused

6. Indiana Jones (any and all)

7. Babe (see my previous list of 20 random things to figure this one out)

8. Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion

9. Thelma & Louise

10. On Golden Pond (which is the movie that brought this list to mind)

11. Days of Thunder

12. Blues Brothers

13. King Pin

14. Nightmare Before Christmas

15. Napoleon Dynamite

16. Dante's Peak

17. Legends of the Fall

18. WaterBoy

19. The Big Chill

20. Pretty Woman

21. Natural Born Killers

22. Animal House

23. Can't Buy Me Love

24. Sleepless in Seattle

25. Top Gun

26. Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

27. Ferris Buehler's Day Off

28. My Cousin Vinny

29. Liar Liar

30. True Romance

31. Breakfast Club

32. Sling Blade

33. St. Elmo's Fire

34. Weird Science

35. The Firm

Wow...it's funny to read this list considering how much my tastes have changed. I love independent movies and movies that are way "out there", but you can't help but love the oldies.

Jen-Jen Out!

Moses and the Burning Bush

So....this weekend I went to see Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life. Every single one of the comedians were off the hook. I got some awesome pictures at the Show and hope to post some when I get them back. I had to go "old school" and use an actual camera with film. LOL. Afterwards my best friend (whose name, by the way, is also Jen) and her boyfriend and I went to play some pool at The Pub. Of course, we closed the place down. But we had a great time. I haven't spent alot of time with them since the chaos with hubby began back in February, but it was just like old times. I have really missed them. I'll post more later. I have to actually work now.

Give Me Some of Your Tots

So....I went out last night and bought $60 worth of Halloween decorations. I'm so stoked. My house will be the most evil house in the 'hood. Aren't you jealous? I think because I've been in such a dark period in my life this year, I'm even more into Halloween than usual. I miss my sister and my niece so much, I can't stand it. I miss my brother-in-law too, but I never really got a chance to spend much time with him before they left for New York. I've always felt a little left out of the family unit that is my mom, dad, sister, niece and brother-in-law. Maybe it's because they lived with my parents, or maybe it's because my parents always make plans with them (even though they're in a different state), but never with me (who lives less than a mile away!). My sister was able to give my parents something I haven't....and that's a grandchild. I don't blame my parents for wanting to spend every waking moment with them, I just wish my family wanted to spend some time with me once in a while. I don't know.....maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but what else is new? I've been wishing alot more here lately that I could just go back to the years when I was still living at home and my sister was my best friend. I miss those days so much.

I USED TO BE SNOW WHITE......BUT I DRIFTED.

So....alot has happened since I posted last, and I don't really have the time right now to go into detail, but let's just say that I have ALOT of thinking to do. My ignorant ass approach to my problems...of just pushing them to the back of mind and trying to live day-to-day....ain't workin'. How did I get into such a mess? Was I an evil person in a past life? I am actually surprised I haven't had a nervous breakdown, or taken everybody else down with me. All I can say is....at least my dog loves me.

Gnarly Spider Web

This is right outside my back door. I am amazed by it. Who needs cheap-ass Halloween decorations when you have the real thing. Too Fuckin' Cool !!!!!! (P.S. In case you were wonderin'...her name is Charlotte.)