Thursday, November 17, 2005

Saga: Part IV - When Hubby Met Jenny

Sorry - I couldn't resist the shout-out to Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan.

There I sat in my new condo, 21 years old, in a different state, with no furniture and no car. I was happy though. I had left behind a dead-end relationship with a jack-ass who had taken all of my possessions and childhood momentos and hauled them off to the dump. I could have taken some things from our house, but I just wanted to be done with it. I was just glad to be rid of him and on my own. He had pulled me down into HIS deep pit of depression and drug addiction, and it took me nearly a year to claw my way out of it and leave him. My parents were ecstatic, as this was the guy who nearly wrecked my relationship with my family. It only took me about a month and a half to furnish my place, get a new car, and get back on my feet. I knew that I was an intelligent and tenacious person, with a good head on my shoulders; I was sure that I would be okay.
Until July 5, 1995.
This is the day I was the sixth car out of 26 to collide on I-264. When I regained consciousness, I was sitting in a pile of glass in my passenger's seat, with my driver's seat-belt still fastened. My seat had been crushed. I must have slid out from the seat when it buckled and flew across the car, busting my forehead on the windshield, pushing my stick-shift under the dash with my knee, and then busting out the passenger side window with the side of my head. I ended up with 62 lacerations on the right side of my head, a fractured nose, two black eyes, eight pieces of glass in my shin, a busted knee, and a piece of metal in my right hip. But, I was alive. And without a car again.
I was depressed for quite a while after that, and withdrew into myself.
I got a call one Friday night from an old friend of mine, who was throwing a party. She had always felt it was her calling to fix me up with these random guys - even in high school. I didn't really want to go, but I decided, "What the Hell", and went anyway. As soon as I pulled up, she ran out to the car, "Oh My God, Girl...Do I have the guy for you!" I rolled my eyes as I walked up the steps, because her idea and my idea of a "good guy" were polar opposites.
As soon as I stepped foot into her house, I saw my future hubby sitting on the couch. Mind you, this was not the guy she had envisioned me falling head over heels for. Her match for me was some construction worker guy with three kids. Not! Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with construction workers, he just wasn't my type. There was something about the guy on the couch that just drew me in. I guess because he looked like he wanted to be there about as much as I did. I felt an instant connection.
I guess I always go for the "tortured soul" types. Like I've said a billion times, I've got that "savior" mentality. Anyway, after hours of mindless conversation with a crowd that was already half-blasted by the time I arrived, I stepped outside on the porch to think of my excuse for leaving. I remember this night like it was yesterday. I was looking up at the sky, making my corny wish on the first star I saw, when I heard the door open behind me. It was Him! Of course, I can talk to anyone, so I started a conversation and we talked for about an hour. He came off pretty quiet at first, but after talking for awhile and getting to know him a little better, I felt that he "needed me". Or, maybe I needed him. I know, I know...this sounds kinda psycho, but I'm really not, I just have a REALLY GOOD sense about people.
I'll never forget one of the first things he said to me after we got to know each other a little bit. He couldn't believe that he had found a girl his age who had no kids, a great job, a new car and her own place. You have to understand "the neighborhood". Most people our age (at this point) were either in prison, had 2.5 kids, or were still living with their parents. I think I freaked him out a little bit. But, I KNEW I would be good for him.
He turned out to be my best friend. We had so many great times together, but, there was alot of turmoil to overcome before we got there. I didn't find out until about a month later (we had been together every day since the party) that he had a daughter. One he didn't even claim. At the time, I didn't know what to think about that, until I learned that he had found his pregnant girlfriend in bed with another man. Mind you, she trapped him in the first place by getting pregnant. She knew he didn't want kids then - we were still kids ourselves - but thought in her messed up mind that if she got pregnant, he would marry her. Boy, did she do a number on him.
And, so did his father.
When I met him, he hadn't spoken to his father in eight years. His dad was an alcoholic, who used to beat him and his mother. And, I mean BAD. One day, his father woke up and decided he was a "born again Christian". He left the family out of the blue and moved to Georgia, where he married a Korean woman and started a whole new family. My hubby had learned as a child to keep his feelings bottled up. When he got older, he started trying to drink his problems away. I knew deep down there was a great person in there...and I was right. But it would take me eight years to untangle the mess his dad and ex-girlfriend had made of him. Eight Long Years. But that's just the beginning of our story.


Blogger TwistedPain Opined...

Well if you're going to reference that movie at least reference the best part, of course being the diner scene. Anyways, sounds like love at first sight and I've experienced that however, love fades, happiness hides, and monotony trumps. These will be the hardest parts of your post because they are the sweet things. The bitter struggles down the road that you reference will suck but it is harder to remember all the sweet stuff and keep your chin up but.... Keep your chin up Champ!

November 18, 2005 9:28 AM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...'s hard. Real Hard. Trying to write in the past tense, with so many new emotions going on. I will portray an honest picture though. I have to!

November 18, 2005 9:39 AM  
Blogger CitySoul Opined...

I'm so intrigued...I can't wait to hear the rest!

November 18, 2005 9:49 AM  
Blogger JAX Opined...

Wow, that was really personal.

I can't believe that just last night I was thinking I really need to blog about my husband. I could never talk about all the personal stuff about him on my blog. He has asked me not to. But it is my blog and I intend (when I have time to devote to a proper post) to talk about what a great man I have. I will just say this, our poor guys. It's unbelievable what some peoples childhoods are like. It's so sad but it's so wonderful you found each other!

Have a great weekend girl (go buckeyes... sorry I said I would do this on every blog so I couldn't make an exception, even though I do feel bad since this was such a heart tugging post!)

November 18, 2005 10:30 AM  
Blogger Neo Opined...

Jen -That's usually how it works. I had friends that used to fix me up like that. It's funny what their sense of "What I need," and theirs was.

Just goes to show, you never know when cupid will smack you upside the head. :)

November 18, 2005 10:45 AM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

City: I'll try to write another chapter as soon as I can.

Jags: Yeah, this whole thing I'm doing is personal. But, like I said, that's the reason why I started it in the first place. I guess it's not really fair of me to put alot of personal things about him on here without his permission, but since he's not speaking to me right now, I guess it really doesn't matteranyway. ;o(

Neo: Yeah, love does find you when you're not looking for it. Which is why I'm in the situation I'm in right now. Damn Arrows!! ;o)

November 18, 2005 10:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous Opined...

I know what you mean...You find this person, fall in love with this person who has been through so much in life and you just want to 'save' them. You do everything you can for them, because you love them.........

I am not sure where your story is going to go, but I will be sure to follow it. Just keep thinking positive girl and keep smilin'... :P

November 18, 2005 12:02 PM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

Squirm: That's exactly right! Our story doesn't have the best ending - at least not yet. My story is almost identical to TP's. I have posted alot about it - in Chapters. I'm working my way slowly to the present. But it's hard work. Whew!

November 18, 2005 12:10 PM  
Blogger Snaggle Tooth Opined...

Hi Jen,
wow, I finally made it back here...Sorry it took me so long to have more read time...
interesting story so far! Sounds pretty tough on ya too... I read down the page a bit...

Why does it seem so much easier to love some one when you feel needed?
(I like being needed also). Relationships are always diff to maintain through personal changes though. I've lived alone for quite some time now.

November 18, 2005 2:09 PM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

Snag: Thanks for checking it out. I've posted about the reason for my "Saga" in the past, so it's kinda hard for newcomers to pick up. I appreciate you reading a little more about it. I'm in a really difficult place right now. But, I'm trying to stay positive.

November 18, 2005 2:12 PM  
Blogger Joe Opined...

I'll be honest, I usually don't read posts like that . . . I'm not that interested in other people's lives (selfish but honest!) but that drew me in. I read it! Good for you. I feel warm and fuzzy now.

November 18, 2005 4:36 PM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

Thanks Joe. And, no offense taken, I'm brutally honest as well. Thanks for reading. There's a long story behind why I'm writing this "Saga". But thanks for taking the time to be semi-interested. LOL

November 18, 2005 4:39 PM  
Blogger cityman05 Opined...

Jen, I just wish I could give you a hug. It hurts me to know you've been through so much.
You have definatly got my interest, buddy. I will look forward to reading the next chapter.
I just hope you are ok and it doesn't hurt you too much to write these things about your life.
You know you can always talk to me if you need too.

November 18, 2005 5:12 PM  
Blogger alannajoy Opined...

Thank you for sharing JJ...Need to hear more! I love that you can someday tell your grandchilden that you met grandpa while wishing on the very first bright star in the sky... awe ; )

November 19, 2005 12:31 AM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

Kippy: Thanks Buddy - you're so sweet. This is hard for me - especially since my husband and I are separated right now...but I'll be OK - I always am.

Lan: I would like to think that I can do that one day, but since we aren't together right now - it makes it hard to think about.

November 19, 2005 8:09 PM  
Blogger Wiwille Opined...

I'm really curious now how everything pans out. This chapter really sucked me in.

I see your he's a Nascar fan and you may be as well. Please ignore any postings or comments I make about my opinions on the sport and it's fans. Nothing personal. I'm sure you're all fine americans who floss daily.

February 19, 2006 8:14 PM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

WW: I can't wait to get my next Chapter done. It's been a long time coming. Thanks for reading!

P.S. I did read your post about NASCAR - and I wasn't offended in the least. I used to think the same thing about the sport - until I actually WENT to a race. It's a HUGE difference from watching it on TV - and I got hooked.

P.S.S. I do floss daily. Hell, I even brush my teeth three times a day. LOL

February 20, 2006 9:24 AM  

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