Obligatory Redneck Post

Things That You Will Never Hear a Southern Boy Say:

"Oh, I just couldn't, she's only sixteen."

"Duct tape won't fix that."

"Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."

"We don't keep firearms in this house."

"You can't feed THAT to the dog."

"No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe."

"Pro wrestling is fake."

"We're vegetarians."

"Do you think my gut is too big?"

"I'll have grapefruit and orange juice instead of biscuits and gravy."

"Honey, we don't need another dog."

"Who cares who won the Civil War?"

"Give me the small bag of pork rinds."

"Too many deer heads detract from the decor."

"I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today."

"Trim the fat off that steak, please."

"Cappuccino tastes better than espresso."

"The tires on that truck are WAY too big."

"I've got it all saved on the C: drive."

"Unsweetened tea tastes better."

"My fiancee' is registered at Tiffany's."

"I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl."

"Checkmate."

"She's too young to be wearing a bikini."

"Hey, there's an episode of "Hee Haw" I haven't seen!"

"Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae."

"Nah. No more for me, I'm drivin'."

"I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex."