Does It Ever End???

I took the dogs to the country this weekend for a nice relaxing day in the sun...only to have my precious baby, Kloie, get hit by a car. She is OK....but bruised and sore.

I am just so sick to my stomach that I can't even post anything else today.

TGIF

Much Love - Jen

Half-Nekkid Thursday - Soulmate Edition

My Soulmate would gently move the hair away from my face, so he could look into my eyes when he kisses me. He would hold my hand while we stood in line at the store, and sing to me at random moments. He would get mad at someone if they were mean to me, and call me three times a day if he went out of town. He would listen to me gossip and just smile and agree. He would throw a pillow at me when I acted stupid, and then kiss me a million times until I laughed hysterically. He would tell all his friends about me and smile as he did so.

I would love seeing his car pull up in the driveway, and getting butterflies as he walked up to the front door. I would love watching him think hard about something. I would love to watch him talking on the phone. I would love to watch him shave.

He would make out with me in the pouring rain, and NEVER be afraid to say "I Love You". He would argue with me about silly things then make up just as easily. He would kiss me at midnight on New Years and count the stars with me. He would stay home with me on a Friday night just to watch me make dinner, and then snuggle with me under the same blanket watching TV. He would tell me I'm beautiful, but not too often. He would make me laugh like no one else could. He would be my best friend and never break my heart.

I would love to watch him sleep. I would love catching him staring at me. I would love all of the little traditions that we would create together. I would love the way he looks at me.

He wouldn't mind if I ate more than he did, and would listen to all of my long pointless stories. He wouldn’t mind my sarcasm. He would shout the words of my favorite 80's songs with me in the car. He would talk to me about anything and everything. He wouldn’t care if I acted crazy and weird sometimes, because he loves that about me. He would laugh at my stupid jokes, but then tell me that they were stupid, and we’d laugh together.

I would love to watch him work in the yard, or playing with my dogs. I would love watching his expressions as he told me a story. I would love laying my head on his chest in the middle of a Sunday. I would love just sitting beside him.

He would never take me for granted or mistreat me. He would make me feel like we were the only two people in a room. He would have as much fun with me at a work function, as he would at a dive-bar singing karaoke. He would want to tell me his opinions, and would genuinely want to hear mine. He would love the smell of my hair and the sound of my heartbeat. He would love me enough to talk about a future and a family with me.

He would love the fact that I'm a carefree-tattooed-outspoken-fuck-everyone-it's-my-life-not-yours-kind of person, and not just because I'm pretty.

"Tough girls come from New York. Sweet girls, they're from Georgia. But us Kentucky girls, we have fire and ice in our blood. We can ride horses, be a debutante, throw left hooks, and drink with the boys, all the while making sweet tea, darlin'. And if we have an opinion, you know you're gonna hear it." ~Ashley Judd ~

HAPPY HNT EVERYONE!!

Much Love, as Always - Jenwishin'

Humpity Humpity Hump....

I've been in such a weird mood since I went to the funeral home yesterday. Not that going to the funeral home is ever fun, but it really got to me this time.

Trust me, I'm not complaining - it could be my family that just suffered a loss. I am definitely counting my blessings, but I can't shake this strange feeling.

Not in the mood to post today, but wanted to at least post something. I didn't want to break my posting streak.

I hope you all have a great day!!! XO - Jen

If Only It Was Always This Easy.....

So Sad......

I had a pretty good weekend. My mom left with Melly on Saturday to head back to New York. I went over there for dinner on Friday night and had a very nice evening. We just sat on the porch and watched Melly play in the yard. Of course, I took a thousand pictures....

On Saturday I headed to the country with the dogs. They had such a blast running wild. I also took a thousand pictures of them.

That was before I hit the wrong button and deleted every single picture.....187 of them to be exact....off the camera. I had to sit down and cry for about 15 minutes. I lost all the ones I took while my sister was in town, all the ones of the baby and Melly. I was just sick.

I spent yesterday sitting in the backyard, just enjoying the sun and the breeze. It was a very nice day....extremely relaxing.

I get to work this morning to discover that my boss' dad passed away yesterday. What a shame! I know that he has been sick for a very long time, so I guess you could say it is a blessing. But, I know it doesn't feel that way to her now.

I've got tons to do today, so that's all for now.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!! XO - Jen

Derby Festival Kickoff....And Other Things.....

I have a few different things to post about today, so bear with me.

PART I:

My sister, bro-in-law and Bella Boo are headed back to New York this morning. God, I will miss them so much. It almost hurts me to see them when they are in town for such a short period, because it's the same heartache all over again when they leave. Melly is staying in town for one more night and then my mom is flying back up to New York to spend a week before coming back home. She is going to be so heart-broken to leave them. Those babies are her world.

We all went out to dinner last night and had a really good time. My sister then came back to my house and cut my hair and watched Grey's Anatomy with me. I REALLY enjoyed it. I wish she could have stayed over for a few more hours. We ALWAYS have so much fun when we get together....and that makes me miss her even more.

I really enjoyed spending time with Bella too. Remember, she was born here last June, while her Dad was in Afghanistan, and then when he returned, they had to go back to the base in New York. So, I haven't had as much time to bond with her as I had with Melly. Regardless, she is just precious!! My sister definitely has two gorgeous children!!!

My mom took this last night as I was saying goodbye to Bella. I sure do love having babies around!!! She is such a handful!

PART II:

I hope this gives everyone else chills, as much as it did me.

I got this email Wednesday right before I was heading over to my parents' house to see Melly. I thought it was the greatest story, and one that I will always remember. Please take a second to read it - it's really short.....but worth it.

Last week, I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?" As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my son asked. "Cross my heart," the man replied.

Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life. He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already."

OK...now I am really going somewhere with this....

My mom, sister, Melly and I are HUGE zoo freaks. We are members of our local zoo, and went every Saturday during Summer when they were home. We love the animals and it's great exercise!! Anyway, mom and I had just gone to the zoo the weekend before. We have a new baby elephant there that is just the cutest thing. As mom and I were walking out of the zoo, I fell in love with a baby elephant stuffed animal. It was just so sweet looking and had huge blue eyes like Melly. I told mom I wish I wasn't so old and broke, because I would really love to have it. It was just adorable.

Long story short.....they had taken Melly to the zoo earlier on Wednesday, and her Daddy bought her that stuffed elephant. I told her how much I had loved it when I was at the zoo, and that it was so cute and reminded me of her. I spent a couple more hours over there before it was time for me to leave. And, of course, I started crying. I just love that child so much....and I wish so badly that they lived here.

I started to walk out the door and Melly came running up behind me. She said, "Aunt Jen-Jen....here", and handed me the elephant. She said, "You look so sad, why don't you take the elephant and you can always think of me." I looked at her with those innocent six-year-old beautiful eyes and sweet smile....and immediately thought of the child in that email. It was so weird to read something like that right before I went for my visit, and then have her do almost the same thing. It was just so moving for me. Of course, I didn't take the elephant, even though I secretly wanted it!! LMAO!

It was just one of those sweet moments I will ALWAYS remember.

PART III:

Tomorrow is the kick-off to the Derby Festival....Thunder Over Louisville. If you all have never heard of this or seen it, you should really check out my post from last year....should be in late April. It is one of the biggest firework displays in the nation and is just an awesome sight. Plus, it kicks off two weeks of madness in Louisville. The Derby is coming folks, which means Summer isn't far behind.

I hope you guys have a great weekend. I'm going to try.

Remember: Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

XO - Jinsane

Half-Nekkid Thursday - Curves Edition

There is something about the curves of a woman's body, that is just undeniable. God definitely knew what he was doing when he created us, but then again....he is a man!!! LMAO

As I sat home alone last night, I was thinking about what to do for HNT, and basically just HNT in general. It dawned on me for the first time, how much I've blossomed since I started doing this over a year ago. I never took pictures of myself in any way, let alone half-nekkid. I think it was the photography part that got me interested, because we all know I love pictures. But, I have definitely become more confident since I started, and I have all of you to thank for that. Thanks for the wonderful comments, the support and the encouragement. I really appreciate it.

I really wanted to snap a shot that best captured a woman's curves, from my point of view.....not the standard shots and angles you see all the time. I hope I did us women some justice!

Until next time, I hope you all have a sexy day!! HHNT!!!

XO - Jencurvalicious

Wednesday Whinings....

I finally decided to start spending some more time outside in my yard, talking to my neighbors and just enjoying my house. It's been a long two years, and after the divorce, I pretty much became a hermit. So....when I got home last night, I changed clothes, grabbed a beer, turned up the stereo and just enjoyed my dogs. It was a really nice night......for about five minutes.

One of my neighbors, whose backyard is right behind mine, was sitting outside with his dog, and I decided to walk over and have a chat. It had been almost two years since I had talked to him (isn't that crazy?), and hadn't spoken to him at all since I brought the new dog home (if you all remember, Jada is the one that I drove all the way to New York to get from my sister when her husband was deployed). I just wanted to make sure that Jada wasn't terrorizing him or his little dog. He proceeded to tell me all the things he's witnessesed between my two dogs and how Kloie just lost her sparkle when Jada came on the scene. That she was depressed for months, she quit playing with his dog and just basically gave up. Of course, she's my baby, so I have noticed this also, and it's very upsetting to me. You would think that Kloie would have been the aggressor....the one defending her yard...her house. But this is not the case. Don't get me wrong, they play together and get along great, but it just saddens me that Kloie doesn't play as much, and that she lets Jada punk her out all the time.

For anyone who has dogs, you know how much personality they have. How much they bring to your life. And, especially with me having no children...these dogs are my life. But you all know that already. I just hate that I have brought this depression on my baby girl. I thought she would love to have a playmate....but Jada destroys all of the toys and pretty much just completely changed everything that Kloie was used to. Maybe I should call The Dog Whisperer. LMAO

After all of this transpired, and I decided to pop another beer, I went to sit down and relax. My phone rings before my ass even hits the seat, and it's my ex-husband (who I've spoken to only twice in the last nine months).

He proceeds to rant and rave for the next 40 minutes about a joint loan we still have and I just wanted to scream. I was already depressed enough over the dog situation, and the last thing I wanted to do was listen to his mouth. Mind you.....I had already downed that second beer during his tirade and was seriously wanting another one.

I finally hang up with him and proceed to beer #3, when my phone rings again. This time, it's a good buddy of mine.

I'm thinking...finally....something that's not depressing. Well, guess what? He was in a bad wreck on Friday, that involved two other cars and, worst of all, alcohol. He's now being charged with four felonies. Because of the fact that I work in the legal field, and everyone I know assumes I can get them out of anything, he called wanting advice and asked me to meet him at the Courthouse this morning. I told him I'd be there and tried to explain the process.....while finishing beer #3 and deciding that I really "needed" another one.

I finally hung up with him after 30+ minutes and decided to just go to bed.....by this time I had already spent almost three hours outside and didn't get to enjoy a single second of it.

My intention this morning was to get to work a little early, so that I could take some time to meet my buddy at Court. As soon as I rounded the corner to my office, my desk phone started ringing, and I'm thinking, "Already? The office isn't even open yet!" It was my boss calling to tell me that her father had a heart attack last night and she was calling to say she wouldn't be in, and that I needed to clear her schedule for the next few days.

In summary....my point is this: My life might suck right now (and has for some time), and I might complain about it, but at least I'm not a dog who has no toys; I'm not married to an abusive, self-absorbed ass anymore; I'm not being charged with four felonies; my dad is in good health; and I still have 9 beers left out of that 12-pack I bought yesterday.

Happy Hump Day Everyone!!

~Live, Love & Learn~ XO - Jen

The Day After Monday.....

I got to see my sister and brother-in-law last night for the first time in months. It was so great to see them. I'm just so happy for them and both of our families that he made it home safe from Afghanistan. I'm just heartsick that he has to go back.

Sometimes I feel like the poor relation, or the relative that you dread going to visit. Maybe it's because they are young, or maybe it's because they have so many other things going on...but I hate the feeling that I'm the one that makes them constantly look at their watch to see if they've spent sufficient time before darting out the door. Who knows, maybe I really am just TOO sensitive.

As you all know, I wrote a pretty heart-felt post a week or so ago about my sister. I was really hoping that she would have seen it, because she checks my blog out on a semi-regular basis. Anyway, it's already come and gone and she doesn't even know it was there. That's one thing that sorta sucks about blogging. It's like, once the post moves off the front page - it's forgotten. It's just one of those things. I just hate the fact that she never got a chance to read it.

I'm pretty much the only one on my family that wears my heart on my sleeve, who likes to talk about everything, get my feelings out, etc., etc. I don't have alot of in-depth conversations with my family because I think sometimes it makes them uncomfortable. They just aren't like that. So....the best way for me to pass these feelings on to my sister was to blog about it.....well, that didn't work!!! Figures. I love her so much, and I don't think she realizes just how much.

Anyhoo....I didn't get to see the babies last night, but I do have some updated pictures. Hope you enjoy:

I think I might start calling her "chunk". I just love her little pudgy arms.


Melly is so ME made over....God help her!!!

Sis, Ryan and Melly......I love to see them smile!!

I'm really excited to be blogging daily again.....it makes me feel good.

I hope you all have a great day!!!

~Love, Peace and Bacon Grease~

Jinsane

Monday Moaning.....

No, I'm not going to have a bitchy post today!! I refuse to do it. Don't get me wrong, everything is still bothering me, but I've decided to take a day off in the worry department. I can't pay shit with money I don't have. So there!!!!

Good news!! My sister, bro-in-law and the babies are in town for a week. I'm so excited to see them. I just wish they could stay longer. Of course, I'll take plenty of pictures so that I can show off the beauties. I hope everyone had a safe and wonderful weekend!!

Smooches!!

I'm Sick and Tired.....

These last two and a half years have drained me so completely, I'm not sure I'll ever recover. This financial strain is weighing so heavily on my mind and my soul, that I can't think about anything else. I only get paid twice a month. I just got paid today and I'm not even close to having enough to pay everything that is due. So, not only do I not have enough to pay what's due, I'm completely broke again until April 30th. It seems that every time I have enough to get by, something happens. I was out sick and missed some work, my car broke down....blah blah blah..........

The collection phone calls are coming every five minutes. My heart sinks every time my phone rings.

Sometimes, I wish I was shallow enough to get with some old rich man who would take care of me. But then, I remember that I'm Jen - and I don't do shit like that. It's just so fuckin hard some days to get out of bed.

I know we've all been there and done that....I just wish I could say I've "been there, done that"...instead of, "I'm still there and I'm still doing that". FUCK!!

Half-Nekkid Thursday - Guilty Pleasure Edition

My guilty pleasures include:

Reading my weekly gossip mags;

Stopping everything to watch Lost on Wednesdays;

Sneaking that last spoonful of ice-cream right before bed;

Dancing naked around the house when I'm alone;

Going to the lingerie store, even if I don't buy anything;

Sitting on my porch at night and just listening in silence;

Lighting every candle in the house and just relaxing in the dark;

The occasional lottery ticket;

Buying a CD by someone I've never heard of before; and

Shooting my HNT every week.

I have a million more guilty pleasures, but I can't give away all of my secrets in one post, now can I???

What are some of your guilty pleasures??

HHNT Everyone!!! I hope you all have a sexy, guilt-free day!!!

XO - Jenalicious

Happy Day Before Thursday!!

Hmmmmm.....

I'm not attracted to unavailable men. I do, however, seem to gravitate towards the ones that resist commitment. Of course, what man doesn't?? I love people so deeply and care so much for them, that sometimes it hurts me when they don't return those feelings. It seems that I'm always trying to make up for something that someone else did to them. I try to prove to them that not everyone will hurt them, cheat on them, or take them for everything they have. I'm not like that....and sometimes I feel like I'm the only one. It's hard to overcome wrongs done by others. Especially, when those are things I would never dream of doing to someone. I've had it done to me enough, you know?

I'm just rambling.....you know, like in the good ole' days? Just ignore me.

www.hostdrjack.com

Nevermind.....

How many more times in my life am I going to give my heart to someone who doesn't want it?

It's Monday....Again....

I hope everyone had a great Easter weekend. Mine was pretty busy.

I actually got offered a job this weekend.....but it's in Cincinnati. It would be a great move for me, but I've got alot to think about. What will I do with my house? My dogs? Can I afford to stay there during the week and commute home on the weekends? It's going to be a crazy time while I'm deciding on this new venture. I don't have to make an immediate decision, as the job won't start for about four months, but if I'm going to take it, I need to start making plans now. Geez......

The benefit went really well Saturday night. Almost $15,000.00 was raised, which is awesome!!! She has such a good heart and great spirit. I'm hopeful that she will beat the cancer

My ex called this morning. What a shocker!!! I haven't talked to him in so long. It was a really weird experience. Of course, the first thing I said was, "What are you going to yell at me about now?" But, actually, he was very nice.....which always throws me off. He's on vacation this week, and getting ready to buy a new house, so he wanted to talk to me about some financial things. My car is still in both of our names, and, of course, he wants his name off the car. Of course, I can understand this....but I'm having a hard enough time just trying to keep my house. There is no bank on the planet that will refinance my loan. I've already tried. So....of course, this makes me feel like shit....but what else is new?

I'm just venting....it's Monday and I'm already exhausted and disgusted.


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T.G.I.F.

Well, I survived another week!! That's always a blessing.

Tomorrow night my family is holding a benefit for my cousin's 26 year-old girlfriend, who has cancer. We will be singing, dancing, partying....and raffling off some cool prizes. It should be a pretty good time, and it's definitely for a good cause. So, here's hoping we raise mucho dinero for her and her family.

My mom is in New York visiting my sister right now. I know she is so happy to be around the babies again. I'd give anything to be able to go visit.

Other than that.....I don't have much to say today. Except, I hope you all have a wonderful Easter weekend!!

www.hostdrjack.com

Peace and Love - Jen - XO

Half-Nekkid Thursday - Morning Edition

I was at a total loss this week. I wanted to try and do some sort of Easter theme, but then I felt guilty for wanting to team up nekkidness with Jesus. So, you get to see me getting ready for work this morning instead!!!

I hope you all have a great day!!! Happy HNT to everyone!


Faith, Hope and Love - Jen -XO

Happy Hump Day

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Tuesday Funny.....

ENOUGH SAID!!