Tuesday, February 28, 2006

OK......No More Blog Quizzes......After This One!!!

You Are 26% Evil
A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.


OK - This is kinda scary. Me? Evil and Dangerous???? I may just run with it.......

25 Signs That You Have Grown Up

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in the elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. You friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
10. Calling the police because the f**k'in' kids next door won't turn the stereo down.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling you sex jokes.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3:00 a.m. severely upsets, rather than settles, your stomach.
19. You go to the drugstore for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff".
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again!"
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant, you congratulate them instead of asking: "Oh Shit! What the hell happened?"

Monday, February 27, 2006

PopCorn Nightmare

I swear some of the things I get myself into are almost comical. As any human being who has ever eaten popcorn knows, there is a thin covering (or skin, if you will) on the kernels themselves. You know, the things that get stuck in your throat and drive you insane??? Well, I have had a piece stuck in the corner of my throat since early yesterday, and it's killing me. I have done everything I can think of to get rid of it. I have gargled, I have chugged water, I even tried to get it out with my toothbrush - until I gagged myself, that is!
That's it!!! I'm going on a popcorn strike.
Does anyone else have any food drama they would like to share?

Friday, February 24, 2006

Which Way?????

Ever have those times in your life when you don't know which way to go??? Why can't I get out of this rut? It's been over a year now and I'm just as confused today as I was then. I'm depressed; I don't want to get out of bed in the morning; and I'm sick of feeling this way. Does anybody have any happy pills they want to share?

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Half-Nekkid Thursday - 02.23.06

OK! I am SOOOOO jumping on this band-wagon. Of course, as always, I'm late to the party. But at least I showed up, right?

I hijacked this idea from Lee-Ann, a buddy of my pal, Neo. You can check her out at: http://lahilton.blogspot.com/

I posted this picture a while ago, but thought I would start off with this one. You know, nice and slow......

These are my latest additions, down the middle of my back. They mean "Faith" and "Hope".

To join in the fun, click below....C'mon, you know you want to!!!


Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Death Wish

This is how I feel today!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Hardee Har Har

To View Better: Click on Picture

Monday, February 20, 2006

Estrogen Study - FUNNY

Interesting Psychological Fact: (that speaks volumes on the underestimation of the effects of estrogen)

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to prefer a man with scissors lodged in his temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on fire.

Further studies in this area have been canceled.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Generic, Vague, and Ambiguous


I've only been at work for about 30 minutes and I'm already having one of the worst days ever!
I'm sooooooooo Sick & Tired of being Sick & Tired. AND, I'm even more sick & tired of making you guys listen to my constant whining and complaining. I'm even driving myself nuts with it.
Thanks to all you guys who have hung with me over the past few months, even though my posting has decreased significantly and I've lost track of why I started this blog, which was to get myself through the end of my marriage, etc. I really am going to get back to it. I HAVE to, because I'm slowing starting to lose my mind.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I Knew It All Along

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

You have high extroversion.You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends.You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation.Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!"

You have high conscientiousness.Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.Most things in your life are organized and planned well.But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

You have high agreeableness.You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

You have low neuroticism.You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is medium.You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.


Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Heart's Day!!!

I hope everyone "feels the love" today!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Today's Post #3

International Rules of Manhood

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!"
We hope this clears up any confusion.
Sincerely, The International Council of Manhood

Thought For The Day

Live Simply.
Love Generously.
Care Deeply.
Speak Kindly.

Leave the Rest to God.

Does Anybody Else's Life Suck Right Now????

Well, as you all know, I've been gone since Wednesday.

I woke up Thursday in immense pain from my new "surgery". I tried to go to work, but only lasted about an hour. So, I went home and decided to lay down and try to "sleep in off". I wake up from my nap only to have a fever and an awful pain in my jaw.
I call in on Friday and go to the doctor. Guess what???? Now, I've got strep throat! Yea!!!!!
On top of all that, the guy who is doing my refinance has been MIA for about two weeks. I can't get him to return my calls or my emails, and I was supposed to close this week.
I give up!!!!!
I know there are a million people out there with problems worse then mine, but damn it. I just wanna feel sorry for myself. And, honestly, I'm sick of doing that too.
It's just soooooo hard to stay optimisitic!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I Don't Wanna Go

Well kids....today I'm having my second procedure done. I still haven't gotten over the first one!

I'm taking a much-deserved break from all dental/doctor appointments for awhile. I've had either bandages, stitches or tooth pain since December. It's about time for a rest!
My appointment is at 12:30 p.m., and I'm taking the rest of the work-day off. If I'm feeling up to it later, I may use that time wisely.....and catch up on my reading.
I swear, after I get these stitches out in two weeks, I'm going to feel so relieved.
I hope you all have a great day! XO - Jenlicious

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

15 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

(I thought this was appropriate considering the name of my blog!)

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it as your "in" box.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".

Finish all your sentences with, "in accordance with the prophecy".

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

When your money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!"

Tell your children over dinner, that "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Monday, February 06, 2006

The Monday Blues

Sorry, I haven't posted anything of importance in a while. I think the mix of all these doctor/dentist appointments, the imminent refinance of my house, going to New York, and still doing the work of two people, is taking it's toll on me. I just feel "blah" and want to do nothing but sleep. I hate when I feel like this.
Anyhoo, my dad's band played at a fundraiser Saturday night, and my sister and Melly came along. It is so GREAT to have them home.
Melly - Dying to get on the dance floor!
After 30 minutes of "puppy-dog eyes", my sister caves and dances with her! ;o)
Melly, bustin' a move with Aunt Jen-Jen!
Dad's band! (He's on the far left!)
Me and my sister! We looked ALOT more alike when we were both our natural blond hair color.
But we still look pretty similar, don't you agree?
Did I mention how happy I am that she's home?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Well, I Guess I'm Not A Total Dumbass!

Your IQ Is 125
Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional
Your General Knowledge is Exceptional