Tuesday, February 28, 2006

25 Signs That You Have Grown Up

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in the elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. You friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
10. Calling the police because the f**k'in' kids next door won't turn the stereo down.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling you sex jokes.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3:00 a.m. severely upsets, rather than settles, your stomach.
19. You go to the drugstore for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff".
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again!"
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant, you congratulate them instead of asking: "Oh Shit! What the hell happened?"

9 Comments:

Blogger Ellen Opined...

These are all great... and true!
I laughed through everyone, because I've been through them all.

February 28, 2006 12:33 PM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

Ellen: Me too! I really got a kick out of it!

February 28, 2006 1:41 PM  
Blogger TwistedPain Opined...

I think there was only like 1 that didnt fit. Thanks, now I feel OLD, as if a recent birthday didnt make me feel old enough.

February 28, 2006 4:33 PM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

Hey Ass - you're still younger than I am. Kwitcherbitchin. XO

February 28, 2006 4:34 PM  
Blogger Ellen Opined...

Did you ever dislodge the kernel from your throat?

February 28, 2006 8:24 PM  
Blogger Neo Opined...

Jen - Oh shit! I'm old!!!!!!!!

BWHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

February 28, 2006 9:20 PM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

Ellen: I FINALLY got it out. What a relief!! LOL

Neo: Yeah - join the club!!!

March 01, 2006 9:17 AM  
Blogger Cowboy Opined...

Man, all of that is true. Maybe I'd better start looking into retirement homes...

March 01, 2006 2:33 PM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

I hear ya....I could identify with almost every one of them!

March 01, 2006 3:16 PM  

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