Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Sagittarius 101

I love reading about astrology. And, even though I was born on the cusp between Scorpio and Sagittarius. I am a true Sagittarian.

My horoscope today was "right on" - and freaked me out a little bit:

"Goodbye doesn't mean forever. Close the chapter on an old situation, and a new level of freedom and energy takes hold."

Here's to a new Chapter!

It's Hump Day Baby.....

I really think I'm bipolar sometimes. Or, maybe it's just my way of dealing with stress. I usually tend to be outwardly happy, but sad down to my very soul on the inside. Right now, I'm feeling pretty good. But, give it some time. It usually hits me like a ton of bricks out of nowhere and I get into these crying fits that I can't control. I HATE that!
Before all of this drama started in my life, I was always happy....and content. Which is why I still don't understand what happened with my marriage. Out of nowhere, my life did a 360. I think I'm still reeling from that.
BTW: They hired a new "girl" to fill my old co-worker's spot. I don't know which is worse, doing both jobs myself, or having them fill the spot with someone who has NO idea what they're doing. It's basically been a nightmare. Of course, it's only her third day, and I am always willing to give people the benefit of a doubt, but c'mon! She didn't even know how to send an email. How can a paralegal, who is 45 years old, not know how to send an email? It's a basic office procedure. Did she just crawl out of a cave? Geez!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

A Break In the Saga

Ok - I'm officially depressed!

With the events surrounding last weekend and my subsequent admittance (albeit, brief) into the psych ward last Tuesday, I'm having a hard time with the next Chapter of my Saga.

How can I possibly write an accurate account of my relationship with my hubby, when he has managed to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit? Can somebody help me out with that one?

However, I refuse to just lie down and not finish it. I'm sorry it's taken so long to post the next installment, but I'm just not in a good place for it right now. I hope you all bear with me....that is, if anyone even cares about it.

Tim Tam Tavern

Well, I finally decided to post some pics from my favorite place: The Blog Famous "Tams".

I previously put some pics up from my drinking challenge with Neo, but thought I would post a few more from this weekend.'s not a gay bar! It's actually one of the most red-neck places I've ever been to, but the people that frequent this place are the best in the world. This is Phil (red shirt) and Kyle. For some reason, every time "Hotel California" comes on the jukebox, they can't leave each other's pretty hilarious!

This is Leslie, my favorite bartender! I have posted her picture before, but felt the need to do it again!

This is Robin & Robyn. We were in the midst of a heated shuffleboard match.
This is Joey. He was smiling and posing for the camera...until I snapped the picture. Ass!
Full House the Night Before Thanksgiving.
Air Guitar Contest Between Phil & Kyle. Phil Won!
Me and One of My Best Buddies - Ryan (Rye-Bread)!
P.S. He usually doesn't look this awful! LOL
And Last, But Not Least....
Bryan's debut on my blog!
We were only slightly shit-faced.
I hope to have some better pictures in the weeks to come. Believe me, I'm there enough! LOL

Monday, November 28, 2005

Bad Mood Monday

It's never a good sign when your day starts off with you oversleeping. Unfortunately, I do that alot.

When I posted last week about my crisis with my husband, it seems that some of you were surprised. I guess it goes back to something my buddy, Neo, posted about a little while back. It sucks when you post a few things in a given day, but people only read the post at the very top. I know that people have lives, and basically forget what they've read on your site, but my whole blog has basically been about the disaster that is "my life". I don't write about it every day, because I don't want everyone to be sick of hearing about it - just like I'm sick of thinking about it. I'm not bitching, by any means, it's just that I hate that once your posts are half-way down the page, they're long forgotten. I don't know....I'm just rambling.
I hope you are all having a great's dark and dreary here in the "K-Y". It fits my mood perfectly. *sigh*

Alcohol Abuse At It's Worst

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Turkey Day Pics!!

I had to work today, so I won't have time to post much until later....I know you are all devastated. LOL

Meanwhile, here are some pics of my Turkey/Birth Day! Just thought I would share...

Melly Displaying One of Her B-Day Presents (we had a combo b-day celebration)

Mom & Sis - Working On Dressing

As My Family Calls It...."Da Bird"

"Da Table with Da Bird"

More Chaos in Da Kitchen

What's Thanksgiving without chaos in every room of the house?

Friday, November 25, 2005

My Bathroom Is Possessed!

I get up this morning with a burst of energy that scared even me. So, I decided to wallpaper my bathroom. I know, I'm insane. Why did I take this on by myself? You know how you get these great ideas and then when you're about halfway through, you've created a bigger mess than the one you started with? Ugh! I wish you guys could see me. At one point, I was teetering over the tub, you know, one foot on the ledge and the other in that small little corner where you sit your shampoo or whatever? I had this piece of wallpaper that was about as long as I am tall. I'm trying to get a straight line at the ceiling, when the paper slides down and lands on my head. Well, as anyone who has ever wallpapered knows, it's wet and slimy and is pretty flimsy. I got a nice mouthful of wallpaper paste and sticky hair. I think my dog was laughing at me. She just layed back down and let out a HUGE sigh. I cracked up. At least I'm entertaining myself while I'm hard at it.
I started this project at about 11:00 a.m. It's now 3:08 and I'm about 3/4 done. I'm sure it will look awesome when I'm done. For one, because I'm anal; and, two, because I don't settle for anything but the best on my projects.
All of you "do-it-yourselfers" out there - pray for me. I need it! LOL

Thursday, November 24, 2005

A Time To Give Thanks

I just wanted to write to apologize to you guys for being so lax lately. I know I've had a lot going on in my life recently, but, to me, it's no excuse for not keeping up with you all. Especially, when I feel that some of you guys have been here for me even more so than my "in-person" friends. I really mean that! Today, is a day for giving thanks and for being with those closest to you.
So, in addition to all of my close e-buddies, I am thankful for:
My Family & Friends
My Bryan - Thanks for always being there for me
My Puppy - Kloie Belle
My Job
My Health
My (not so much) Sanity - spend 7 hours in a "psych ward" for no reason and see what you think?? *see Tuesday's post for DT's*
The Way My Parents' House smells - c'mon you all know what I'm talking about
The People That Believe In Me
My Ability To See The Good In Everyone
Anti-Depressants and Marijuana - just kidding......not really
Good Food, Good Drinks, & Good Company
My Memories of Lost Loved Ones
My Faith
My Sense of Humor & HUGE Heart
My Talent of Knowing When To Quit....
I hope you all had a Great Thanksiving, surrounded by the ones you love, and, who love you in return.
XOXO - Jenz

It's My Party & I'll Cry If I Want To!

I'm having a pretty good day so far. I have had a few brief moments of sadness, because it's my first holiday without my hubby, and it also being my birthday isn't helping. But, I'm trying to keep a smile on my face.

I'm so happy that my sister and niece are here. We're all in the kitchen helping mom cook and it's pretty fun, but I had to sneak off and post. I couldn't stay away any longer.

I started the day by going to Bryan's and then he took me out to his dad's house. It was a nice way to start the day. I'm going to meet him later at Tam's for some birthday drinks.

I was sitting in my mom's office looking out the window, in a small funk, when my niece came in and snapped my picture. She's only five, but she's like me, we both love pictures. She told me I had to post it on my blog, so here it is....Jen on her 33rd birthday, looking like shit.
{I wonder if Neo's picture will be any better?}

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Happy Turkey Day To Everyone & Happy Birthday To Me!

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday! I sure am going to try.
I am really excited about my sister and niece coming down from New York, and, no matter how old I get, I always love my birthday.
I was reading a magazine last night and found this horoscope. I thought it fit my frame of mind perfectly:
"Happy Birthday Sagittarius! If you were born this week, the year ahead will bring luck through your intuition, which is stronger than it's ever been. Listen to yourself and follow through on dreams that you've had for years. This is your time, so go for it! This week is all about tapping into your confidence and moving away from negative people who bring you down. Surround yourself with optimistic companions who believe in you.
Lucky Day: Tuesday."

The only I problem I have with my lucky day is that I spent half of it in the "nut ward", but I guess I can overlook that one small problem - LMAO.

MP3 Hotline....Can I Help You???

OK - I'm an idiot, in addition to being a fruit cake.

I finally joined the technological world and bought me an MP3 player. The only problem is that I've had it for almost a month and can't figure it out. I think I just don't have the right software or something. I bought a lifetime membership to an MP3 download site and everything.
I know that most of you are computer savvy, so here's my proposal:
Would anyone be willing to download my songs for me? I figure that some people would be leary of mailing an expensive MP3 player to a total stranger, but you know what? It's not doing me any damn good without any music on it, so if someone wants to take advantage of a naive technology-illerate person, then FINE!
When mailing my player to the fine soul who wants to help me out - I will also give you my user name and password to my download service so that you can use that. You can also use it for your own player if you want. I have unlimited download access.
Please advise.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I'm a FruitCake!

First, I wanted to start off by saying "Thank You Guys" for all of your support! I just now got to work (it's almost 2:00 p.m.) and I couldn't believe all the encouragement. I didn't go back and reply to all of the comments, because there were so many. So, I just wanted to give you all a "shout out"! Can you feel the love?
I had a melt-down last night and scared my step-daughter so bad that she called the police. I was just hysterical! Because a call was made, they had to take me to the hospital for an evaluation. I was so embarassed! I mean, I am upset and all, but I'm not nuts! I felt so bad for scaring her like that. It was a total misunderstanding. A BIG one!
I got down there at about 4:30 a.m. (in my pajamas, no less) and it was just awful.
I didn't get out of there until after 11:00 a.m. today.
I tell you what, if I wasn't crazy when I got there, I sure am now! I was sitting there thinking, "Can't a person just have a bad day?"
I'm feeling better now, except for the lack of sleep and a killer headache.
I'm sure I'll bounce back. I always do.
Again, "Thanks Guys" - your words of love and support mean more to me than you can possibly imagine.
Your Very Own Nut Job!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Woe Is Me....

I'm losing my mind today! My (estranged) hubby came over to my house last night and destroyed the coffee table in my living room. He was like a demon possessed. He had this look in his eyes as if he was looking right through me. I just wanted to run and hide.

The next thing he did before he left was throw his wedding band at me. This is all that was left of it.

He told me he was going to his lawyer's office today and that our divorce would be final in eight days. We had gone to sign some preliminary paperwork back in July, but I had no idea it would happen this fast. I'm freaking out.

Why do I even care about it, or him, when he is so heartless? I guess because I've been with him for 12 years, and I don't want to let it go. I'm panicking and I'm scared.
And on top of all of that, I have to sit here at my desk and actually work? How can I focus on my job when I'm about ready to bust into tears at any given moment. Damn Him!
It's a good thing that one of my best traits is being able to maintain composure in times of utter devastation.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

War of the Worlds

So, the drinking war with Neo has begun. Here is my first update, complete with photographic proof. Time is Now: 2:34 p.m.

It's 4:25 p.m. Jen's Count is 19....and still going strong.

Can I just say that I think a 6:00 p.m. deadline for this contest is WEAK! I don't know how they do things in Philly, but here in the "K-Y" - we can drink all day long.......whatcha say to that Neo?

Coming from bourbon country and all, you would think that Neo would know better than to challenge a red-neck woman to a drinking contest!

Well, it's 6:15 and no sign of Neo. 11 more....

Here's some more shots from my day o' fun:

AND, I Guess - since it's 6: 50 p.m. (50 minutes past Neo's posted deadline), the only thing I can say is:

I Guess I'm still the Champ - it's 8:02 p.m., no word from my opponent!

Friday, November 18, 2005

It's On Baby....

My Buddy, Neo, (see "Just Bring It" in my Faves List), and I have a challenge going on this weekend. It should be very interesting.

My sleeves are rolled up, my hat's on backwards, and I'm ready to rock! Bring It On, Baby! Bring It On!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Saga: Part IV - When Hubby Met Jenny

Sorry - I couldn't resist the shout-out to Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan.

There I sat in my new condo, 21 years old, in a different state, with no furniture and no car. I was happy though. I had left behind a dead-end relationship with a jack-ass who had taken all of my possessions and childhood momentos and hauled them off to the dump. I could have taken some things from our house, but I just wanted to be done with it. I was just glad to be rid of him and on my own. He had pulled me down into HIS deep pit of depression and drug addiction, and it took me nearly a year to claw my way out of it and leave him. My parents were ecstatic, as this was the guy who nearly wrecked my relationship with my family. It only took me about a month and a half to furnish my place, get a new car, and get back on my feet. I knew that I was an intelligent and tenacious person, with a good head on my shoulders; I was sure that I would be okay.
Until July 5, 1995.
This is the day I was the sixth car out of 26 to collide on I-264. When I regained consciousness, I was sitting in a pile of glass in my passenger's seat, with my driver's seat-belt still fastened. My seat had been crushed. I must have slid out from the seat when it buckled and flew across the car, busting my forehead on the windshield, pushing my stick-shift under the dash with my knee, and then busting out the passenger side window with the side of my head. I ended up with 62 lacerations on the right side of my head, a fractured nose, two black eyes, eight pieces of glass in my shin, a busted knee, and a piece of metal in my right hip. But, I was alive. And without a car again.
I was depressed for quite a while after that, and withdrew into myself.
I got a call one Friday night from an old friend of mine, who was throwing a party. She had always felt it was her calling to fix me up with these random guys - even in high school. I didn't really want to go, but I decided, "What the Hell", and went anyway. As soon as I pulled up, she ran out to the car, "Oh My God, Girl...Do I have the guy for you!" I rolled my eyes as I walked up the steps, because her idea and my idea of a "good guy" were polar opposites.
As soon as I stepped foot into her house, I saw my future hubby sitting on the couch. Mind you, this was not the guy she had envisioned me falling head over heels for. Her match for me was some construction worker guy with three kids. Not! Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with construction workers, he just wasn't my type. There was something about the guy on the couch that just drew me in. I guess because he looked like he wanted to be there about as much as I did. I felt an instant connection.
I guess I always go for the "tortured soul" types. Like I've said a billion times, I've got that "savior" mentality. Anyway, after hours of mindless conversation with a crowd that was already half-blasted by the time I arrived, I stepped outside on the porch to think of my excuse for leaving. I remember this night like it was yesterday. I was looking up at the sky, making my corny wish on the first star I saw, when I heard the door open behind me. It was Him! Of course, I can talk to anyone, so I started a conversation and we talked for about an hour. He came off pretty quiet at first, but after talking for awhile and getting to know him a little better, I felt that he "needed me". Or, maybe I needed him. I know, I know...this sounds kinda psycho, but I'm really not, I just have a REALLY GOOD sense about people.
I'll never forget one of the first things he said to me after we got to know each other a little bit. He couldn't believe that he had found a girl his age who had no kids, a great job, a new car and her own place. You have to understand "the neighborhood". Most people our age (at this point) were either in prison, had 2.5 kids, or were still living with their parents. I think I freaked him out a little bit. But, I KNEW I would be good for him.
He turned out to be my best friend. We had so many great times together, but, there was alot of turmoil to overcome before we got there. I didn't find out until about a month later (we had been together every day since the party) that he had a daughter. One he didn't even claim. At the time, I didn't know what to think about that, until I learned that he had found his pregnant girlfriend in bed with another man. Mind you, she trapped him in the first place by getting pregnant. She knew he didn't want kids then - we were still kids ourselves - but thought in her messed up mind that if she got pregnant, he would marry her. Boy, did she do a number on him.
And, so did his father.
When I met him, he hadn't spoken to his father in eight years. His dad was an alcoholic, who used to beat him and his mother. And, I mean BAD. One day, his father woke up and decided he was a "born again Christian". He left the family out of the blue and moved to Georgia, where he married a Korean woman and started a whole new family. My hubby had learned as a child to keep his feelings bottled up. When he got older, he started trying to drink his problems away. I knew deep down there was a great person in there...and I was right. But it would take me eight years to untangle the mess his dad and ex-girlfriend had made of him. Eight Long Years. But that's just the beginning of our story.

Happy Birthday To My Precious!

It seems like only yesterday that I was holding her like this!

I can't believe she's five years old today.

Happy Birthday Melly-Moo!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The Night-Time Blues

I came home earlier tonight, after having a few beers, and was going to sit down and finish my next "Chapter". The reason I had to come home so early, was because of some drama happening at home. I am so mad and depressed right now (almost midnight on Wednesday) - can you even be both of those at the same time?
But, not being in the right frame of mind, I just decided to write about something stupid that I do. Don't even ask me why I'm thinking about this right now. I guess it's because one of the things I love most about being me, is that I can entertain myself. I always have. Being an only child for so long, I guess I just learned fast how to depend on myself, and only myself.
Back to what I was going to say: Every time I get on someone's blog to comment, I always try to pronounce the letters of the word verification as an entire word. I really crack myself up with that. I even say it outloud as I'm typing it. I guess the reason why I wanted to post about this, is because just doing that when I got home, made me feel better....made me laugh. Alot. I love that I can do that to myself.
As I was typing that last sentence, I decided to make a list of five things that I love about myself, and five things that I don't think are that great. Nothing wrong with a little soul searching. Even, brutal honesty towards one's self. I seem to be doing alot of that lately, what with my current situation. goes:
I am a humble, unconceited person. But one who knows that I'm intelligent, funny, and dependable.
I have a big, wide-open heart, and because I have faith that one day I will benefit from that.
I'm down-to-earth and pretty easygoing. Most of my intense thoughts I keep to myself, because I don't like to make scenes or lose my temper.
I'm a very open person, who loves people - no matter what their race, shape, or religion. I truly believe that everyone was created equal. EVERYONE.
I really give of myself to the people around me. It makes me feel good to do things for others, or give them things, especially when I do it without expecting or wanting something in return.
I'm way too sensitive. Sometimes I wish that I didn't let what others think hurt my feelings so easily.
I'm not a "freak" about it or anything, but I am extremely organized and I really like things a certain way. It's not so much that I want to change that, I just wish I could get it through my head that, to some people, it's not that big of deal to them. And just let it go.
I can't say "No". (Minds out of the gutter please!)
I feel guilty alot. Even about things I can't control. (Back to being too sensitive.....)
The feeling that I sometimes hate all of the things I love about myself. There are times when I just wish that I could be a cold-hearted, unfeeling, bitch. Then maybe I wouldn't feel sometimes like I'm the only one around me that is suffering, while everyone else seems to be getting along just fine. I just wish I didn't feel so much - and so deeply - about even the smallest of things. I guess I'm just way too passionate about life, in general, sometimes.
OK - Sorry guys. That was deep - even for me - and, NO, I'm not drunk - I only had three (maybe eight) beers. Really, I'm not trashed - just in "thinking" mode - like always. You should try this exercise. It's way more intense than the 100 list. This time, you're not just stating facts, your stating true feelings. It's pretty hard. Even for me.
Time for Beddy-Bye....Sweet Dreams Everybody!
*Much Love*

I Got Bored...

I decided to go even redder. It really brings out the peepers. Dontcha think?

100th Post Celebration

Yippee! Hip-Hip-Hooray! Joy To The World!

[Insert Fireworks Audio]

First of all, I just want to thank you all for this wonderful opportunity....OK...I can't really do this. But I had to post something. I couldn't stand looking at my dashboard - stuck on 99 posts.

(Side Note: Part IV of the saga is coming soon to a monitor near you.)

In the meantime, here' s a cool picture to look at.

Hope you are all having a sun-shiny sexy day!

Pounded Again

Well, we got pounded by another tornado last night. Luckily, no confirmed deaths yet. Everyone was pretty terrified after the last one, so they started letting businesses go home early yesterday and canceled night classes at UofL and all over region. It was a pretty nasty storm. Thank God our local goverment was overly cautious.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005


I would be cussing like a sailor right now if this wasn't family hour.

I just got notice that they denied my appeal of the parking ticket. (See last week's post - What A Day - for those of you who are slow on the uptake. ;o)

Friggin' rent-a-cops.

Happy Early Turkey Day

Funnies For My Buddies

Most of you have probably seen all of these, but they just CRACK ME UP!!

Too Funny!!!

That's My Motto!

I have NEVER laughed so hard in my life!

Poor Kermie...

This Drives Me Nuts....Could You People At Least Wait Until Halloween Is Over Before You Start Putting Out Christmas Stuff.....GEEZ!

I always wondered how they did that...Hmmmm.

Too Much!!!! ROTFLMAO

I gotta get my dog one of these!

Monday, November 14, 2005

So.....I've been thinkin....

I spent some time with my dad a fews ago, and was telling him about my blog, and how wrapped up I am with my e-buddies. He thinks I'm insane. (What else is new?) I was telling him how many people have started visiting my page in the last few months and how good it makes me feel. He basically told me not to put too much into it, and that if I were to quit posting tomorrow, everyone would just move on to something else. Which is true, I suppose. But that doesn't mean that I can't relish it while I have it, right?

I know this might sound desperate, or even a little pathetic, but I really do appreciate all of the folks who visit me regularly. I look forward to your comments and enjoy reading your posts as well. And, maybe even more pathetic, is the fact that I think about you guys all the time....wondering what you're doing, how you're lives are going, and trying to think of something funny to say to make you all laugh. I wonder if this is just a diversion for me, so that I don't have to focus too much on my life and it's trials and tribulations? Whatever the reason....I just wanted you guys to know that. I love you all. I really, really do.
Hugs & Kisses

Obligatory Redneck Post

Things That You Will Never Hear a Southern Boy Say:

"Oh, I just couldn't, she's only sixteen."

"Duct tape won't fix that."

"Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken."

"We don't keep firearms in this house."

"You can't feed THAT to the dog."

"No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe."

"Pro wrestling is fake."

"We're vegetarians."

"Do you think my gut is too big?"

"I'll have grapefruit and orange juice instead of biscuits and gravy."

"Honey, we don't need another dog."

"Who cares who won the Civil War?"

"Give me the small bag of pork rinds."

"Too many deer heads detract from the decor."

"I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today."

"Trim the fat off that steak, please."

"Cappuccino tastes better than espresso."

"The tires on that truck are WAY too big."

"I've got it all saved on the C: drive."

"Unsweetened tea tastes better."

"My fiancee' is registered at Tiffany's."

"I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl."


"She's too young to be wearing a bikini."

"Hey, there's an episode of "Hee Haw" I haven't seen!"

"Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae."

"Nah. No more for me, I'm drivin'."

"I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex."

Thought for the Day

Discover, Develop & Display
An Attitude of Gratitude.