Even God Has a Sense of Humor
Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. I know I couldn’t live without it, especially at work. But, have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling Heaven.
For English, press 1
For Spanish, press 2
For All Other Languages, press 3
Please select one of the following options:
For Requests, Press 1
To Give Thanks, Press 2
To Complain, Press 3
For All Others, Press 4
I’m sorry. All of our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayers are important to us and we will answer your call in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, Press 1
Jesus, Press 2
The Holy spirit, Press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5; then enter their Social Security Number followed by the pound sign.
If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666.
For reservations to Heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3-16.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life, and other planets, please wait until you arrive in Heaven for the specifics.
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today. Please hang up and call again tomorrow. The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.
Thank you and have a Heavenly day.
Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling Heaven.
For English, press 1
For Spanish, press 2
For All Other Languages, press 3
Please select one of the following options:
For Requests, Press 1
To Give Thanks, Press 2
To Complain, Press 3
For All Others, Press 4
I’m sorry. All of our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayers are important to us and we will answer your call in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, Press 1
Jesus, Press 2
The Holy spirit, Press 3
To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5; then enter their Social Security Number followed by the pound sign.
If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666.
For reservations to Heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3-16.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life, and other planets, please wait until you arrive in Heaven for the specifics.
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today. Please hang up and call again tomorrow. The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.
Thank you and have a Heavenly day.
posted by Jinsane at 11:17 AM
2 Comments:
lol...nice. I spent the morning on hold with a credit card company...too true.
God does have a sense of humor. Last year my son got kicked out of kindergarten for going through with a dare. It was really kind of humorous what he did,but he was still in some big time trouble. I took out my Bible and said, "God please give me some wisdom to help deal with this situation." I opened the Bible up and there in front of me was the verse "This is my son, in whom I am well pleased."
I was like, "Lord, you think this is funny, too, don't you?"
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