Thursday, November 03, 2005

What A Day!

As I started writing this post....I almost stopped. I feel like such a cry baby sometimes. I am blessed with so many good things in my life, and with everything that is going on in the world right now, I feel selfish for bitching about such minor things. But sometimes those "minor" things threaten to consume my very soul.
Today was one of those days when anything and everything went wrong. Yet at the same, I was kinda relieved, because it forced me to think about something else besides my own drama.
It started off with my having to go to work an hour early for some training. Of course, the firm waits until two days before my co-worker will be gone to start training me for her job. I get to work and the door is locked. The receptionist is usually there, but today, I guess she was running late. Who knows. Anyway, I proceed to stand in the lobby for 15 minutes until a partner shows up. It actually made me kinda happy because I sure looked good. Standing there bright and early waiting to get into the office; eager to start working.
I finally get to my desk and wait for the person who's training me to show up. She was 30 minutes late. She had to come down from St. Louis at a moment's notice to train me on a program. We begin to log on, only to realize that our IT person is installing programs onto our server and we can't get into the system. So, we wait another 35 minutes.
Jump to 15 minutes after the "session from hell".
I was happy to finally have a few moments to get online and see what you guys were up to, only to find that my sister had read "Part II of the Saga". I have tried furiously for two days to get ahold of her, because I wanted to tell her about it and explain my intent. Unfortunately, I never got ahold of her.
Chin (a relatively new poster to my blog, and the one who sparked the "Eric Controversy" - through no fault of his own), had written a comment that upset her. Of course, I know Chin meant no harm, he just jumped to conclusions, but he did have some good things to say - that my upbringing helped me become the independent person I am today. Which I agree with. And I have no hard feelings about the comments he made about my sister, even though they were WAY OFF, because, like I said before, it's very hard to sum up relationships in a few paragraphs. However, when I replied to his comment, I only agreed with the part about me. I didn't defend my sister. I actually thought about that after I had posted my reply, but I was too busy at work to think about it for very long. (I have since deleted the comment - out of respect for my sister.) Because of my training, I didn't see her comment until about two hours later and I knew she would be off-line. I hated the fact that she would spend the rest of the day without seeing my explanation, and believing that I thought those things about her.
You have to understand my relationship with my sister. Because of our age difference, she is more like my child than my sister. I had very special bonding moments with her - spending every waking moment with her, night-time feedings, rocking her to sleep at night. When she hurts, I hurt. When's she happy, I'm happy. It's a very precious relationship to me.
I go to lunch feeling depressed, frustrated, and miserable.
I get back from lunch and have two huge piles of papers that need to be filed with Federal Court. Mind you, we do everything online, but it's still very time consuming. And also remember, that I only have one more day before I have to learn my co-worker's job and I have never sat down with her face to face. Yeah, I had the "technical" training, but that's crap compared to actually seeing it done and her telling me the "little" things that a trainer can never tell you. Worrying about learning her job - while trying to keep up with mine. It's too much!
FINALLY, with an hour left to go before I had to leave for the day, we sit down. I can hear my cell phone ringing from my office. Someone was "blowin' it up." I could only sit there watching her lips move, the whole time wondering if it was my sister. (Side note: It wasn't.) She starts talking a hundred miles an hour, rifling through papers, jumping from one computer screen to another, acting like I already knew what she was talking about. My head started spinning, trying to absorb what she was saying and trying to remember what I'd learned earlier. I wanted to pull my hair out. In her defense though, it's hard to train someone. I felt sorry for her, but honestly, felt more sorry for myself. Here she was, leaving for a great new job and leaving me with a huge mess, that's only going to get worse as the months go by. We just had some serious law changes go into effect and it has made my life a living hell.
About 15 minutes before I had to leave, I realized that I had never went on my break - meaning that I hadn't fed the parking meter. They are like hawks here. I jump up and tell her that I have to run down there....I can't afford another ticket.
I get into the elevator feeling rushed because I only had like two seconds to get to the meter, check my phone and get back upstairs to finish up some things before I left for the day. I'm standing in the elevator, one foot on the ground, my other knee up in the air, trying to balance my purse while I dig for change, grab a cigarette and my lighter, and find my cell phone so that I can be ready to check my voicemail while I'm walking. I light my cigarette as I'm walking through the revolving doors, dialing my phone with the other and start running towards the meter. No ticket....whew! But the meter was empty. I feed it a couple of quarters and walk a few steps to listen to my voice mail and hot box my cigarette. Wrong number. Figures! However, I did have a couple of calls (one which really made me smile), and another from the hubby. I called him back because he was calling about the tax bill on our house - another highlight of the day. He was in a bad mood because I was short on the phone. I tried to explain about my day...to no avail. He was mad and I was getting even madder. I hang up and turn around to start walking back to the office when I spot a parking ticket on my window. I thought "What the F**K?" I spy the little meter freak walking away so I take off after him - pissed off.
I finally catch him - a block away - and "nicely" ask him why he gave me a ticket when there was money in the meter. "It's hours of operation are 7:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.", I tell him. He smirks at me and informs me that I'm in a "no parking zone". I imagined myself grabbing his pen and his little clipboard and shoving them both straight up his ass. It was an Ally McBeal moment. How in the hell can it be a "no parking zone" when there's a friggin' parking meter there? I turned and walked away before I lost it and punched him straight in his smug face.....angry tears start to spill. That only makes me angrier.
I hate to cry when I'm mad. It only makes it worse.
My two second break turned out to be 20 minutes and by the time I got back to my office, it was time to go. I turned off my computer and ran like hell before something else happened. I got in my car and the flood gates opened. I sat for about 10 minutes and sobbed my little heart out.
I went straight to "The Tam" after my breakdown. I had to see Bryan....and I wanted a beer (really, I wanted 10 or 12). He always makes me feel better and today, he didn't disappoint. He could only stay for about 35 minutes because he had tickets to the game (on ESPN baby!!).
In a way, I'm glad. Because if he would have stayed, I would have tied one on....and I mean...ON! Sometimes, I am my own worst enemy.
It's about five hours later now, and I'm in a better mood. I just hope tomorrow is a brighter day.
Footnote: I typed this entire thing (which took about 45 minutes), only to lose it when I tried to change the color....thereby making me type the entire thing twice. Is it tomorrow yet?

5 Comments:

Blogger nelle Opined...

Even with a day like that, which would have been enough to push even the saintliest (is that a word?) of people to the edge, you were still able to see a positive aspect of the day: that it allowed to escape your own drama. Sometimes you need that. I certainly don't think that you qualify as a crybaby.

November 04, 2005 6:41 AM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

Thanks Ellen! I sure felt like a crybaby yesterday. Hopefully, today will be better. But it just started, so we'll see. ;o)

November 04, 2005 8:50 AM  
Blogger JAX Opined...

You are so sweet. Poor Jen Jen. What a crappy day. I hope you fight the parking ticket!

November 05, 2005 8:31 AM  
Blogger Jinsane Opined...

Thanks Jags! I'm definitely fighting the ticket. Ooh...He was such a jerk.

November 05, 2005 7:51 PM  
Blogger Matt Opined...

Hello!

I am contacting you because I am working with the authors of a book about blogs, and I'd like to request permission to use a photograph of yours in this book. Please contact me at matt@wefeelfine.org, and I'd be happy to give you more information about the project. Please paste a link to your blog in the subject field. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Matt
matt@wefeelfine.org

October 14, 2008 7:25 PM  

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