Half-Nekkid Thursday - 06.15.06
So....I've been MIA for a few days and have gotten quite a few emails from some of my regular readers inquiring as to whether I am OK. Well, the answer is "NO". I don't want to get too deep and personal on the mother of all weekdays, but this HNT requires some background. If your a HNT visitor only to this blog, you can skip past it....it really doesn't matter anyway.
I have officially hit the lowest point of my entire (albiet, "mid-middle") life. Almost everyone who visits here, knows that I started this blog when my hubby and I separated, after being together almost 13 years. I thought that was the lowest point of my life. WRONG!! Alot of the day to day things that happen to me, I don't always share, because I get tired of whining. I'm just at a REAL honest-to-God crossroads in my life, and I'm scared as hell. After the separation, I dove into a new "life", with new "friends", and basically changed my entire life. I lost my past, when I lost my husband. Now, after this weekend, I've lost my new life, and my new "friends". I have been kidding myself all this time. I'm not going to be generous with any details right now - like I said in my last post, I am so done with all this shit.
I have my family, but with my brother-in-law here from Afghanistan and the new baby, I don't want to rain on their parade. But, my so-called new "friends"? Whatever. Honestly, right now, nobody can make me feel better. There's nothing anybody can do. I feel utterly alone, and kinda pissed off. I wonder where all of the people are, that I've been there for in the past? Why hasn't anyone called me in over two weeks to see how I'm doing?
So to put things bluntly, my HNT says it all. It's a two-parter.
This is my represenation of how I feel. I'm dying on the inside, but the people around me usually see a calm, together, person. I've always lived my life this way. Never putting myself first; always worrying and trying to help everyone else.
And for those people who have let me down so bad lately:
here's a
Kiss My Ass picture.
I'm sorry for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about. I just had to vent!!
posted by Jinsane at 12:18 AM
20 Comments:
Well I don't know about your "other" new friends, but this one has been worried about you and hoping all along for the best. Looks like I got some more hoping to do.
I don't know specifically about where you are right now (or maybe I do, I just don't know that I do), but I do know that good or bad - this too shall pass. Don't give up and don't ever give in! You're better than all that and I think you know it.
I wish I had some magic words or some pearls of wisdom that will ease the pain, but all I have is my support and not one, but two shoulders to cry on - any time.
~Mike
Jen - I won't get into "Feel good," comments in here. Send me an email. I don't like the vibe I'm getting from you. I know you're hurting, and I'd like to help.
Peace & Hugs,
- Neo
I'm with Mr. A on this. Don't be down on yourself if it's the "friends" that have let you down.
No "feel good" words from me, either. Doesn't sound like you want them yet. Be pissy, be angry. Then pick yourself up and find new friends!
Beautiful shots. I love those lacy panties. I hope things resolve themselves.
Happy HNT sweetie ;)
Yup.... what Mike, Neo and Obasso said!
I think you were kind to give the "kiss my butt" attitude to the dissers... it could have been the middle finger, which it seems they deserved. (Oh I know... bad, bad me.)
Keep your chin up sweetie, we're here for you always....
I'll comment on the photos in a second, but as a semi-casual reader I thought I'd just share a thought first.
Separation/divorce is a hugely traumatic thing, and most of us that have been though it have found that we somehow need to find our way again afterwards. This can manifest itself in all sorts of ways... how we behave, who we associate with, and generally how we relate to the world around us.
There usually comes a point when we achieve some sort of realisation, and that's the point that things begin to heal properly, and our lives really get back on track again. Maybe you've reached that point, which - if true - is a good, and positive thing.
Oh yes, the photos. You look sad, but very beautiful. As I can't wrap my arms around you I'll just wish you a Happy (as possible) HNT x
Jen,
I have to echo what most others have said here... Now's not the time for feel-good sentiments. Now is the time to let all of that pain and anguish out of your soul.
I hate to see you hurt, and wish it was within my ability to instantly and permanently soothe away this pain.
And like most of the others here, I have shoulders to cry on, ears to listen, and I make a pretty good punching bag, too.
You're in my thoughts and prayers, Jen... always.
Vent away!! Nice pics!
Lovely pics! Though I don't think I've let you down I'm happy to oblige with a kiss. :-) HHNT!
New here...but I'll be back...you're story is too similiar to stay away...
All I can offer is a few words of encouragement and a shout out for the beautiful creature I see in these pictures...
In fact, I'll skip the encouragement because you and I *both* know it doesn't do shit...and I'll just say...DAMN WOMAN...You are HaWt!
I was just strolling through random blogs and found yours. I was drawn to read a lot of your posts because when I was your age, I had similar issues with my husband/ex. I thought it would never end. eventually it did. I have no words of wisdom to make you better, but I will say that most of these things resolve themselves when you least expect it. Now, 30 years later, my ex and I are good friends (good for our children and grand children). Some exes simply disappear. But trust me, this will go away eventually. You'll have many more difficult times in your life. They ALL go away! Keep trying to find positive people and don't give up. Dare I say "You have to kiss a hundren frogs to find a prince"? Yuck. On a last note . . . I was taken aback to note that your pain sounds so much like my own right now. I lost my husband of 31 years ago last fall, and I am often startled at how people seem to shy away from "single" women, regardless of the cause, the age, anything. I spend many evenings wondering where some "friends" disappeared to, but I'm not going to let it stop me. I figure I have about 30 years more to fill all the gaps. If todayh I'm sad, I know that tomorrow (one of them) will bring me to a better place. Ain't nuttin' gonna get this ol' gal down. Good luck to you.
So many people in this world feel exactly as you described....not trying to downplay your dilema at all.....just my way of letting you know so many of us know exactly how you feel. You really find who your TRUE friends are and in most cases they are hard to beleive.... Get the venting out of the way as you are such a beautiful woman and the KMA pic was a good idea...maybe send it out to the "friends" ....might even join the "Becca's" for some "shot therapy"
BKS
I saw your note at my blog. Just in case you didn't check back for a response, I wanted to say . . . no apologies necessary. I hope you find your happiness soon. You're a beautiful young woman and you will find your niche. Again, good luck!
Well, here is the thing. Maybe it is time that you go and see a counsellor or your Doctor. I know from personal experience that it is really hard to admit that you are not able to cope with things by yourself but it is something that your Doctor can really help with. I hope that you take care of yourself.
Scott
I certainly know what you're going through, and I learned quickly that it's their loss and not mine. Your pics are great BTW ;)
Wonderful pics you are such a beautiful young lady !!!!
HHNT
Great pictures (they do convey emotion).
I wish I had some magic for you, but I don't. Just vent away and heal.
Happier HNTs to come
not knowing the situation, but completely understand the feeling...
Hope you find peace, keep blogging, seems to help me.
And BTW that's the sexiest KISS MY ASS pic I think I've ever seen ;)
I could relate to alot of the feelings that you've put down in words.
I hope you find yourself in a better place soon.
love the white lace but in the other picture you look so sad,hope you feel better soon.
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